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Category: Humor

Humorous or satirical posts that (for the most part) shouldn’t be taken seriously.

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No, Not That, You Pervert, Maybe Later After Some Eggnog.

Oh yeah, Christmas time. I've seen a lot "bah humbug" on the Interweb this year, what with the economic situation being in a slump and all.

Even though we may not be able to purchase a lot of things this season, we know we can at least see a good Christmas light presentation at the malls. The "Twelve Days of Christmas", "Winter Wonderland", and other such various secular, non-offensive Christmas carols provide themes to base a huge, yet tasteful, set of mall Christmas decorations upon.

However, if you've lived down here in the South for any substantial length of time, you should know one of the best kept Yuletide secrets we have here in the heart of Dixie. We rednecks don't go to the malls to see the best displays of Christmas lights in town. Oh no.

We go to the trailer parks.

...continue reading "AOFM – The Best Kept Secret About Christmas in Dixie."

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Hey there, Fatty McMadDude here.

2020 is past us now. YAY!
It was an extremely bad year for everyone, mainly because of the virus that never went away. Or at least never did by the time "experts" predicted it would. They said we'd have to put up with it for a few months.

Well, it's 2021 and my family STILL has to wear masks and "socially distance". And now that Biden is President, those things won't be going away any time soon.

Biden will be sitting in the big chair in the Oval Office as of tomorrow, and all of the supposed ills of society caused by Trump won't be going away; as a matter of fact I predict they'll get worse, much worse.
Remember how Obama got rid of racism during his 8 years? Got that economy going into overdrive and made us all rich? Pretty much fixed all of the bad stuff George W. did in HIS 8 years? Well, look for the same sort of fixing to get done with Joe and Kamala. Except even worse.

I would lay out all of my predictions here and now, but there's proper places and times for things and this ain't it.

Good news though. Mary Anne's muse has been whispering to her occasionally and she's been writing a little. Hopefully the muse will start its screaming again and you may see some results from it.

In the meantime, love and anger, boys and girls.

Angry Old Fat Man

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Angry Old Fat Man here, boys and girls.

America landed on the moon on my third birthday. That's right, I was born exactly three years before mankind took their first steps on a different celestial body, our moon.

Unbelievably, there are fools out there who not only don't believe we did this, but also believe we faked the footage live and they advertise this misinformation to influence the young and the extremely gullible:

Thank God we have people who are not only knowledgeable, but have a sense of humor.

There are numerous Internet memes that have an "expanding brain" sequence, which shows a brain and/or spirit expanding from a Homer Simpson sized nugget up to a galactic sized ethereal enlightened soul.

I found one the other day that addressed the moon landing:

Enjoy! The Eagle has landed!

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Hi there, children, it's me the Obese Guy with Anger Issues. It's been awhile, I know, what took me so long to update blah blah blah make me a sandwich and get me a Capri Sun and shut the hell up.

My darling wife the Crazy Duck and Little Yappy Dog Lady and I have finally done it. We've raised our two boys into full-fledged men. I've got to say it was a team effort and I'm extremely proud of the job we've done.

...continue reading "Empty Nest, Somewhat (May 2019)"

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Angry Old Fat Man here. My mobile phone is dead.

Actually, it was dropped a couple of times in the past year or two and doesn't display or sense screen input anymore. It was a very nice Samsung smartphone, very expensive when I paid for it. It had an outstanding camera which took beautiful pictures even in low light. It had 32 GB of RAM which allowed me to load a large number of apps if I so desired (a grocery list one and a couple games were great). It allowed me to get on the Internet from practically anywhere and look up important stuff, like the date when Abe Vigoda died (you have to be pretty old to get that joke). And most importantly it had an alarm clock that got me up every morning without an annoying buzzing noise.

But yeah. Phone dead. No texting, talking, or alarming.

Being an old fart like myself, though, has made me hate anything and everything "smart". I like the good old days, when everything was dumb.

...continue reading "Dumb is Better"

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Angry dude here, the lucky husband of the Crazy Duck Lady.

Today's my birthday. I'll be fiftajjdisoijd this year.

I was born on my Dad's birthday. So I never really had big birthday parties or anything like that, especially considering the economic status my immediate family had when I was growing up.

But this is the first year that I've had my birthday that my Dad was not around to at least say "happy birthday" to me, and that I couldn't do the same to him. He died a number of months ago.

My Mom misses him so much, but she did wish me a happy birthday today. My wife and my boys will be here with me as I praise the good Lord for another year of life, and for all of them, I could never express enough gratitude.

Happy birthday, Dad. I love you, and will until I see you again.