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It's tinfoil hat time again.  I snuck into Mr. Quack's secret room and borrowed one of his.  To get it I had to break the code to unlock the secret box where he stores the alien abduction/blocking government surveillance gear (most of it is multi-purpose).  Chasing the snark I sent him after won't take long, so I better make this post quick.

 For some time I've been checking my book and ebook sales with a fervor and dedication unmatched by most religions.  But as time passes it has perturbed me more and more that so few of those sales are for the paperback versions of my books available through Amazon's Createspace.  I sell a couple of paperbacks a month and that number should be much, much higher. 

CS now distributes paperbacks to other retailers, so my paper books are not just available at Amazon, they're sold at bookstores across the net - from Barnes and Noble to Books a Million and to scores of other retailers.  So the books are out there for purchase in lots of places.  Plus, not everybody owns an ereader (yet) but everybody can read paperpacks.  Everybody has bought paperbacks for years. 

So why is it that my ebooks far, far, FAR outsell the paperbacks?

It's the price.  CS is a POD (print on demand) company.  Under the old system, indie authors had to pay big up front fees and pay to have their books mass produced.  Then they had to market and sell the books themselves.  I understand that Dan Brown used to sell paperbacks out of his automobile trunk.  But under the new POD systems, there are no upfront fees and the company will market and distribute your books if you enroll in the "pro" plan for $39 per year.  So most folks - nearly all indie authors these days - have long ago dumped the old paperback companies and are going with one of the POD companies. 

It's a great idea in theory and it would be a great idea in practice - except for the price structure.  A writer could opt out of the pro plan and put the books up on just Amazon and charge a "fairly" reasonable rate for them.  But everyone wants their books out in more venues.  So we opt into the distribution system.  That comes with big old royalties to Amazon.  Under the structure, a paperback that a writer could buy directly for just over $4 has to be sold for like $16.99 to net a writer $2.75 in royalties.  Ouch. 

And you know what?  $16.99 is a hell of a lot of money to pay for a paperback.  So very few buyers purchase indie paperbacks.  They skim over them and wonder what kind of nut thinks their book is worth that kind of money.  Most probably have a vision of authors expecting the Brinks truck to drive to their house and drop off money.  The big price tag keeps sales of indie paperbacks low.

...continue reading "Is Amazon Feeding The Kindle By Starving Createspace?"

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Published on 4 Comments on Grey’s: Sunshine’s Scariest Circle?

Lots of folks have been writing about how great Grey's is this season.  Overall, I tend to agree that the aftermath of Grey's "9/11" has given the writers lots of new directions to explore.  But the ugly specter of one of those new directions reared its charming head in the last episode, "Something's Gotta Give."  After watching the epi and connecting the potential future dots of where it may lead, I'd prefer to rename it - Something's Gotta Go.

What's gotta go?  The specter of Sunshine's Scariest Circle that the writers left dangling in the deviant little brains of some of Grey's longtime fans, like yours truly.  After all, all of the Grey's faithful know that Sunshine likes to draw circles.  She'll show the characters (and us) the other side of some coin by completing an old circle (that viewers didn't realize was incomplete).  Knowing Sunshine's obsession with circles is both a blessing and a curse for fans who get drawn into being armchair quarterbacks.  Lots of those fans are people like me - writers.  It's impossible to keep your mind from writing possible future epis based on what you know of the characters, the show and its creator.   The specter of the possible completion of the circle Sunshine just dangled over our heads is definitely more curse than blessing.  Or perhaps, it's all curse and no blessing. 

...continue reading "Grey’s: Sunshine’s Scariest Circle?"

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 Great news for our readers eagerly awaiting the next chapters of Mary Anne's The Duke of Eden serialized historical romance novel - it's here!

We also have a button for it on our Complete List of Books page, but you may have to scroll down to the bottom of the lengthy book synopsis there... your patience is appreciated!

And once again, we show you the glorious, magnificent pecs of the Adonis adorning my wife's e-book, because you ladies just can't get enough of that guy. Or that guy's chest. Or whatevs. Just look at 'em and buy the damn chapters already. You female chauvinist sows. LOL!

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As I began editing Part 2 of The Duke of Eden,  the book I'm currently putting out as a serial exclusive to Amazon's Kindle, I'm thinking ahead to Part 3 and the overall length of the book.  And I've decided that this time I have a grand ambition - it's going to be a shorter book than the ones I've published previously. 

Why is that such a grand ambition?  Because for writers like me, the ones who get caught up in our own characters and their story, keeping it shorter is much harder than letting it conclude at its own pace.  But I'm gonna try to keep Eden shorter because I've decided that these days, there are a bunch of readers who prefer shorter books.

I was already thinking about this issue a few days ago when I read a post on Dear Author titled "Is Our Attention Span Getting Shorter?"  The author of the post noted that Harlequin category romances had started appearing on the USA Today bestseller list.  As we all know, Harlequins are shorter romances.  Within the Harlequin family of imprints, word counts range range between 50k to 75k, but generally hover between 55k and 65k.  Dear Author noted that one of the things the bestseller list appearances reminded them of was that more shorter books are being sold in the digital age.

Don't get me wrong, I love a good meaty, long ole' historical, but when I read the piece I realized that I've been reading a heck of a lot more Harlequins lately.  I've always enjoyed the books, but I have never bought as many of them as I do now.  Why?  Well, maybe shorter books do read better in an e-world.  You get in, you get the story, and you get out. 

...continue reading "Are Shorter Books Better?"

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Angry Old Fat Man, being more angry than usual. Probably more fat too, but to hell with it, like that makes a damn anymore.

I'm a computer guy, just trying to make heads or tails of the world as I plod along. I'm trying to build a business, so I worked practically the entire evening for free on a computer running Microsoft Vista.

If you don't know because you're an Apple sycophant, a Linux basement-dweller, Amish, or been living under a rock for the past 5 years, the Microsoft Vista operating system (like every second or third version of their software) sucks ass. It took entirely too long for Microsoft to realize they had a huge stinker on their hands, and after working on getting it somewhat stable they ended up having to rename it (Windows 7) for users to even look at it.

This machine I've been working on has an infamous Black Screen of Death, where you only see a black screen and a tantalizing mouse pointer that moves OK but has nothing to point at or click on. I've tried every free remedy under the sun and it still sits there, its dark face mocking me.

Did they even test this son of a bitch before they shipped it out the door? This is what Microsoft gets for hiring potheads and cheap overseas programmers. This is also why they're getting their lunch eaten by smartphones.

...continue reading "AOFM-MWU – S#@! I Have To Deal With"

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Unless you serve in our heroic armed forces, being an American is generally more about privilege than price. Today is different. Today is the day we do our job as citizens of the best country in the history of the world.

Today we decide our country's direction by choosing to re-hire the politicians who've been working for us or by letting them go and hiring someone new.

Today is NOT ABOUT your political persuasion. Today is about being an American. GET OUT AND VOTE!!!

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Published on 1 Comment on I Have Not Been Assimilated

I haven't joined the Borg.  I have not been assimilated.  Heck, I'm not even a Star Trek fan - though I live with three (3) men who are.  That's why I know about the Borg. Their bloody phrase seeps into dialogue at the Casa de Graham.   I know the phrase.  I know the meaning, but it doesn't fit.  I have NOT been assimilated.  What I've been is the victim of a marketing plan crafted by Mr. Quack, my resident diabolical genius.    

Quacking Alone Romances has had a Facebook page for a few weeks.  It existed and I left it alone.  I operated under the theory that if it didn't bother me and I didn't bother it then we'd both be okay.  Then I started trying to keep this blog refreshed with daily new content - which I thought would be a good thing - by going in each morning and posting a thought for the day.  

Mr. Quack sat me down and told me that I was getting it wrong.  I didn't want to update the blog content everyday, I wanted to put the new stuff on the Facebook page.  He said short thoughts don't belong on the blog, to put that stuff on Facebook.  So, I moved the thought for the day over to the QA Facebook page.  And, I've been trying to keep the page updated with new content by going in and posting my thoughts about books, TV shows, the universe and everything. 

Then Mr. Quack sat me down and said I'd gotten it wrong again.  He said that the Facebook page for QA Romances should stay static and only get updated by blog posts.  He said I needed to work on the Facebook page he'd started for me by reaching out to "friend" folks in my network of family and friends and by posting my thoughts there.  He says that social marketing is a necessary evil. 

Well, I've gone out to FB and put in some of my favorites there and I've started reaching out to "friend" old friends, college and law school buddies and family members. It'll be nice to have a way to stay in touch with them, I suppose.  But I wonder if my youngest son isn't right about Facebook.  Sam says that the number of friends you have on FB isn't about friendship or connecting.  He says it's just a modern day status symbol. 

...continue reading "I Have Not Been Assimilated"

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Once upon a time, a long time ago, there was an African man who lived in a small village. The village had, as many villages did in Africa, a witchdoctor who healed and protected the villagers with various incantations, rituals, and potions.

It just so happened that the man was having a little stroll when he heard laughing from far above him. It was the witchdoctor! He was flying and soaring and swooping, like a big bird of prey, and was having a grand old time.

After awhile the witchdoctor landed and saw the man. The man greeted him with the most astonished look on his face. "How... how... how in the world did you..."

The witchdoctor said, "How did I fly, you mean? Oh yes, it was a potion I've been working on. I drank it and became as light as a feather, able to go to and fro with the wind! It is a marvelous feeling, it is."

The man asked, "You did THAT, with a potion?"

The witchdoctor replied, "Yes, yes, it is very simple once you have all of the ingredients and you put them together juuuuuuuuust right."

The man asked, "Could you tell me and show me how to make this potion?"

The witchdoctor chuckled. "Sure, sure, let me tell you the recipe."

They spent most of the afternoon gathering all of the components of the flying potion. The witchdoctor insisted that the man do all of the work to make the potion because, well, the man was the one who wanted it.

The man listened intently to the witchdoctor as he gave him fairly complex instructions on how to assemble the potion. Finally, over a small boiling pot, the man had the last ingredient in his hand and was getting ready to throw it in. The witchdoctor stopped him and told him, "Now this is the most important part of the potion. You must not only do everything I've already told you, but you must also think in the way I've instructed, do you understand?"

"Yes," replied the man, impatiently.

"Now remember this. Whatever you do..."

...continue reading "AOFM-MWU – The Flying Potion"

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Today will be a brief post.  Blame it on the day job.  You know, the one that pays the bills?  I exist for the day when I can write full time, but this ain't that day (yet).  My boss - the trial lawyer at the firm where I do research and legal writing - is trying a big case next week.  I also have a brief due to the Court of Appeals next Friday so next week promises to be a real ole' humdinger.

Thought I'd post a brief mention about my great experiment on Amazon.  I'm playing with book blurbs or product descriptions again.  Or maybe I should say that I'm playing with book descriptions still.  It's sort of an ongoing battle.   See, my contemporaries - Griffin's Law and E-mail Enticement - haven't yet found their audience.  And I'm convinced that if I describe 'em just right people will check out the sample and then buy the ebooks for their Kindles. 

Oh, I know, everyone says that nobody reads contemporaries.  Everybody says that contemporary romances don't bloomin' sell as well as historicals unless Oprah picks 'em for her book club or Shonda Rhimes, Ron Howard, or Stephen King or Spielberg (or whoever) buys the movie rights.  I'm still waiting for the call from Oprah or a film mogul.  But despite that, I'm convinced that readers would enjoy the books if they gave 'em a shot.

I've been changing the descriptions of E-mail and Griffin's on sort of an ongoing and manic basis.  (I've been waiting for the guys at Amazon's DTP to call the rubber room police to come get me.)  First, I changed both to add the blog posts describing my process of writing each book.  Nada.  Just, nada.  Then I went back and wrote a pithy, catchy 3 or 4 paragraph description of each. 

You know what happened?  Yep, more Nada. 

...continue reading "Is Less Really More?"

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I finally finished up the cosmetic work on our Complete List of Books page. You'll notice we now have convenient little buttons instead of the cluttered links we had before. As I stated before, I had to handcraft the buttons because none of the publishers/distributors in question had standard buttons for use on third-party websites. So if some of them look less than polished, tough schmidt, I ain't changin' 'em. Also, if you're a representative of one of the publishers or distributors mentioned above and you want to sue me for the buttons, I've got some suggestions:

  1. Go ahead, jerkass, my wife's a lawyer.
  2. Have your people send my people (as in me) some approved buttons. Hell, make them available for anybody who wants to use them. You might sell more shiznit that way, who knows.
  3. You could leave us alone and just take a share of our money, or you could see what kind of backlash you'd get from all of the authors from whom you're making money by treating one of them like a criminal. Piss off a large revenue base in the Obama economy? You can only afford to do that if you're Microsoft, and even then only for a limited time.

Speaking of buttons...