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A search for "naughty school girls" hits the blog nearly every day and usually multiple times.  It's one of those strange things that makes me say -- hanh? 

It's the cover for Griffin's and John's post about covers that hits, I think.  I just find it an odd search to land on a romance blog.  I never see searches for naughty school boys hit, but now that I've mentioned it here - I bet they'll start coming too! 

Here are some random phrases thrown out just to attract searches everywhere: 

  • Shagging at Myrtle Beach;
  • Two For One Sale;
  • Lusty Ladies;
  • Lusty Lads;
  • Day Jobs Are Cruel and Unusual Punishment;
  • Geeks Are Sexy;
  • Sex On The Beach;
  • Sex In The Sand;
  • Handcuffs in Strange Places;
  • 9 to 5 Is 8 Hours Too Long;
  • Fifty Shades of Furries;
  • Whips and Chains With Cherries On Top;
  • Sex On A Tightrope Over Niagra Falls;
  • Forever Isn't Long Enough Unless It's Too Long;
  • Writers Are Strange People Who Do Strange Things;

Okay - that's enough for now.  Maybe we'll throw some more grist out for the search engines again later.

If you're strange enough to search for some of these things, you deserve what you hit and you should go buy one - or all - of my books immediately.  Think of it as penance.

Phenom author Erika Leonard (EL James) is considering rewriting Fifty Shades of Grey from the POV of the hero, Christian Grey.  The present trilogy is seen through the eyes of the heroine, Ana.  The view from the eyes of the hero would look like a different tale entirely.

As Leila, Grey's former submissive says, "the Master is dark."  The story seen through his eyes would be a dark, tangled and twisted tale.  I'm not sure it would have been the sensation of the current books, as I don't know that a lot of readers would have bought the Master's Tale the first time around.  However, after reading the story from Ana's perspective, I think the author could count on a lot of readers being interested in the troubled hero's thoughts of all the events Ana could see only through her innocent eyes.

The story through Christian's eyes would be, like him, "fify shades of fucked up."  I bet it would be an amazing read but I think it would be very challenging to write.  Christian Grey's POV is much more over-the-top so I'd be bound to like that version now, wouldn't I? 

Here's hoping that unlike Stephenie Meyer, Erika Leonard actually pulls it off.  A trip down the dark side of desire through the eyes of fifty shades himself would be a unique literary journey.  I only have one question:  Would that make it "daddy porn?"

At last - at long, long, endlessly long last - my new book - Dangerous Relations:  The Office Ink -  is out and available.  This is the third book in my "love and the law" line, which we call "Dangerous Relations."   The books out so far aren't related, so they're not really "a series" - except for the fact that they occur in Myrtle Beach (my home town) and some of the characters recur and/or know each other.

Okay, maybe it's sort of a series.  Except it's not.

This one arose when my demented mind began pondering the old cliche - "never dip your pen in the office ink."  Before you'd have been able to call the little men with a padded truck and a straitjacket, the office had become The Ballinger Law Firm in Myrtle Beach.  It came fully equipped with Mommy lawyer, Daddy lawyer and two battling lawyer brothers - Jed, the firstborn and Mark, the younger brother. The brothers couldn't be more different - except that underneath their differences, they're an awful lot alike.

For one thing, they're both very competitive - or at least they are on the surface.  Perhaps, beneath it all, the only one competing for anything is Mark.  Exactly what he's competing for only becomes clear late in the story.  Mark is very much a central figure in the tale - despite the fact that he never appears as a living, breathing character.  As the story opens, Jed hears a scream, which catapults him to consciousness - much to his regret.  He finds himself on his office sofa, where he's passed out after taking a physical beating following the emotional one he delivered to Gemma, his associate - the lady who just screamed - the lady he and his brother both wanted and neither could have.

See, Joe Ballinger and Sophie Ballinger, parents of Jed and Mark and Senior Partners at the family law firm had a rule forbidding anyone from dipping their pen into the office ink.  Translation - no hanky and no panky at the office.  That prohibition should've been reason enough for Jed to have  listened to his parents a few months back at the interviews at the Law School.  Gemma walked into the room to interview for an associate's job right after Mark hired the candidate Jed would've hired.  In exchange for Jed backing down and letting Mark hire the disputed candidate, Sophie promised that Jed could have first choice of the others.

When Gemma Marshall walked in the room for an interview she captured both brother's interest.  But Jed was locally famous for his success with the ladies.  He was the designated Damsel Delighter of the Esquire Club, a group of Myrtle Beach lawyers dedicated to the bachelor life.  The Club would send Jed the name of the next lady he was charged with seducing.  After he succeeded - and he always succeeded - they'd carve a new notch in the ceremonial gavel.  There were a lot of notches.  But Gemma? From the instant Jed laid eyes on her, he knew she was someone he had to hold onto by any means necessary.

It took some maneuvering to get Gemma to accept the job Jed insisted on offering - over his parent's objections - but finally he backed Gemma into a corner so that she had no choice.  But once she joined the firm, the sibling rivalry became local legend and an office joke, although it was no joke to the brothers.  Her presence created a pressure cooker for Jed - he wanted her more with every passing day but he couldn't have her and he couldn't have anyone else either.  Jed's family and friends wanted Miss Marshall gone and Mark was convinced Jed would return to his ingrained Damsel Delighter ways, betray Gemma and then she'd turn to Mark.

Well, the day did come when Jed had taken too much, been pushed too far, had changed too much from the man he'd always been.  And his Esquire Club buddies picked the right night to push him into joining them at a strip club where they'd arranged for all the strippers to be especially friendly to Jed.  Even though the touch and taste of her made him sick - literally- Jed ended up taking the stripper back to the office bcause he thought it would help him get himself back.  Instead, it cost him everything.

Gemma walked in to find Jed and the stripper naked on his office sofa.  So Mark turned out to be right - Jed did betray Gemma.  But Mark also turned out to be wrong - he didn't win the lady and ride his Harley off into the sunset. Because that scream that awakened Jed the morning after his go-round with the stripper and his later go-round with his brother?  That was Gemma screaming when she discovered Mark lying bloody and dead, very dead, on his office floor - just a wall away from where Jed had crawled onto his sofa and into a bottle to try to drink away his troubles.

But Mark is found holding a bare-breasted photo of Gemma cavorting in a waterfall.  So not only did Jed have all the motive in the world - Gemma had a few reasons to have killed Mark as well.

The appearance of Mark's ghost should make solving his murder a cinch - except that he appears only to Jed and refuses to disclose the killer's identity.  Well, he doesn't so much refuse as claim that he can't because it violates some after world code of ethics.  Either way, Mark keeps insisting that Jed has all the clues he needs to solve the crime.  If that's so, Jed just can't see it.  He sees the puzzle, but he can't make the pieces fit.

And Jed better figure it out soon - if he wants to avoid being convicted of the crime.  Because the trial has started, the Judge has named Jed as co-counsel in his own defense and all Jed can see is how he still feels about the woman who betrayed him in ways he never imagined possible.

Will Jed be able to put the pieces together in time to get the real killer convicted, save himself, and see whether he and Gemma might still have a future together?

Pick up Dangerous Relations;  The Office Ink to discover how dangerous, enticing, and deadly pen dipping can be. You'll never look at ink the same way again!

This is a brief post to highlight one that Joe Konrath has up over at his blog  Joe's blog is a Newbie's Guide to Publishing and the post up now is titled "Pushing the Button,"  written by author Jude Hardin.  It deals with Jude's struggle about when to quit the day job and write full time. 

Yes, Virginia, Jude pushed the button and in this post he explains the struggle to get to this point and how he got the courage to live the dream. 

Not only does Jude explain the inner and outer journey that got him to this point, but Joe Konrath gives tips on how a writer knows it's time to stop dreaming and start writing full time.  It's a great post from Jude and fabu tips from Joe. 

Writing full time is my dream too.  I'm not at the point where it's possible yet.  I'm still trying to write my way to writing full time.  Recently, I've made a conscious decision to set aside more time for writing so that I can push out more books for my fans.  More books mean more sales and that is the path to paradise - writer style. 

Over the weekend I'll blog and give y'all all the lowdown on my new one that's out now and I may even toss out a hint about the one I just started.  My WIP is the next installment in my Forever Series - it's Peter's story.  Fans have been asking for that one.   And I love hearing from readers.  It's nice to know that there are folks crazy enough to take a trip over the top with the duck lady.

Now, all I need is a mass outbreak of insanity to spawn a horde of new risk-takers ready to live life from the most radical POV - over the top of reality.  Trust me, folks, the view from the top is good, but the view from over the top is better.

And each sale brings me one step closer to pushing that button too.  In the meantime, pop over to Joe's place and give Jude's post a read.

I've now finished reading "Fifty Shades of Grey" by EL James. As everyone on the planet likely knows by now, Grey is a trilogy and "Fifty Shades of Grey" is part 1. The books have received everything from lavish praise and adulation, to a life-changing movie deal for the author, to scorn and demeaning comments for the writer and the book's fans. I must've been fated to read it because I was still mulling over whether the books were worth the investment when my eldest bought me Fifty Shades in paper for Mother's Day.

And no, there was nothing weird about the gift. Zack had heard me mention it and recalled my saying that it was written as a tribute to Twilight. Zack's a big Twilight fan, and he knows I like tribute books (mine - Dangerous Relations: Griffin's Law is my nod to Grey's Anatomy).  So, being a thoughtful child, he picked up this one for me.

Here it sat, in my house as a gift for Mother's Day.  I hadn't decided whether to take the plunge and buy it - and this is where I have a confession to make - I'm not an erotica reader. My first acquaintance with the genre came with my first ebook publishing venture -  way back before Amazon built  the Kindle,  when no one ever dreamed that books would be mainstream in any form but paper, there was a little company called Mobipocket.  I first epublished there (later, Amazon bought Mobi and used the platform/engine to build the Kindle). Erotica sold better on Mobi than anything else, so I'd occasionally peruse the covers. Floating torsos.  Multiple torsos. The covers would show three or four men and one woman or sometimes several women and one man, and all of them would be naked and hovering. 

Ick.  What that reminded me of was growing up in a little town called Hartsville, SC where there was one of  THOSE drive-in theaters.  And sometimes, even respectable married ladies would venture in.  My Mom and my aunt took me and my cousin a couple of times as elementary school kids.  They told us to sleep in the back seat, but as long as we were quiet, they weren't going to interrupt their guilty pleasure to spank us for not sleeping.  Invariably, in the movies someone would show up for their first day at a new job and before they'd even filled out the tax forms, everyone in the office would be naked and going at it hard.  Or someone would move into a new house and order a pizza but they'd end up with the delivery guy, the plumber and welcome wagon ladies who brought a lot more than bundt cake.  It sort of put me off the genre.  As young marrieds, my hubby and I would sometimes rent one of those movies to enjoy together and as we wandered around the back section of the video store, I'd hand him a box and ask -- does this one look like it might have a plot?  (In case you're wondering, the answer always turned out to be no).

I hadn't decided whether I wanted 5o Shades, but it seemed to want me.  It's nice being wanted.  Then I started hearing high and mighty PC types calling Fifty Shades - "Mommy Porn."   Okay, if the PC crowd hated it, then I had to give it a try.  At least there are no floating torsos on the cover.

...continue reading "What Could Be Stranger Than Fifty Shades? My Review"

I told you it was coming soon, didn't I? Mary Anne has been extra diligent and the uploading fairies have been on her side, and now Dangerous Relations: The Office Ink is available on the Kindle and the Nook!

The link to get to the book in our book list page is in the sidebar and... hey whaddayaknow, it's right here too!

Those buttons will multiply once we start uploading the book to other online distributors, and hopefully we'll get it to you in paperback as well. In the meantime, if you have a Kindle or Nook, enjoy!

Hello kiddies! It's me, the Husbinator.

Mary Anne has been working for months on the latest addition to her book collection, that being the third book in the Dangerous Relations series, where love and the law intermingle. However, the work is almost finished! We're in the home stretch now, getting it ready for uploading to Amazon and other e-book outlets.

The title of this one...

Dangerous Relations: The Office Ink

 The phrase refers to an old saying, "don't dip your pen in the office ink", i.e., don't get naked with coworkers.

Here's my most visible contribution to the book - the cover. Check it out and see what you think (click on the picture to see it full-sized):

 

Keep watching the sidebar and our book list page for the next week or so. It'll be there soon!

A new piece in USA Today focuses on arranged marriages and some rather deranged opinions that arranged marriages lead to longer lasting love and happiness than love, over-the-top head-over-heels style.

The article first focuses on marriages among member's of Moon's Unification Church.  It got my attention because the focal couple includes a 23-year-old engineering student.  (My home includes a 21-year-old engineering student).  The young man asked his parents to find him a wife.  They checked with church friends and found a young 17-year-old girl.  The couple spent a single day together before their parents demanded a decision about whether they would marry.  I've spent longer than that picking out a purse.

The Unification Church claims that 70% of its member couples whose marriages were arranged are still together and it points out that 50% of non-arranged marriages end in divorce.  The article notes that arranged marriages are also common among Hindu and Jewish couples.  Okay, religious ceremonies and rituals tend to be lifelong beliefs, taught in infancy and followed as adults.  I may not "get" why anyone would want such a fundamental life decision to be taken out of their hands, but I can respect it as a part of another culture.  (I also don't understand the worship of cows or trees, but I have no problem with people who believe those things)

The author of the article tracked down a psychologist, Robert Epstein, who argues that arranged marriages work because couples start out with low expectations, their families lend support, and love grows slowly.  Stephanie Coontz, a research director for the Council on Contemporary Families,  notes that arranged marriages are often products of societies where young people have few choices and can be quite repressive for women.

My curiosity over how Unificationists sell arranged marriage to modern children was answered later in the story with a comment that the Church frowns on dating.  I bet if you grew up in a town where everyone rode horses, the first car anyone drove into town would look mighty enticing - even if it was a beat up 2002 PT Cruiser like the one I drive.

My take on arranging love and marriage?  I agree that an arranged marriage would be an organized, sensible and wholly reasonable way to find a spouse.  But I think it's as likely to lead to love as latching onto the person in line ahead of you at the post office.  Love is disorganized and chaotic.  It will turn you inside out and your world upside down.  Love is an utterly unreasonable emotion -- and there's no better guarantee for a happy marriage or a happy life than spending it with someone who still makes your pulse pound after more than 20 years of marriage.

Love is an unreasonable expectation of a mundane world - and wouldn't life be a mighty poor experience if we abandoned our quest for it?

I'm reading 50 Shades of Grey now - at least part 1. I haven't committed to parts 2 and 3 yet. I'm still trying to decide if I love or hate Christian, but have no fear - blog readers will get my full, unvarnished and over the top opinion as soon as I finish the book.

In the meantime, check out this great parody! (BUT ONLY IF YOU'RE OVER 18)