First installment here.
Second installment here.
It’s freezing and snowing in New York – we need global warming! - Trump, before the Apotheosis
"So Hillary, let's talk about you and about how you feel. You doing okay? Your lessons going good, yeah?"
The waitstaff began filing in with the most delicious-smelling and beautifully presented meal she'd ever smelled and seen, and arranged the table just so.
"Well enough, Emperor. I've learned a great deal about our time together back before your ascension to the throne."
"Good, good." Trump paused and ate some dry meat chunks.
"You were fully human back then. What happened to you?" She daintily placed some of her meal - chicken? It tasted like chicken, chicken in a very rich sauce - on her tongue. The explosions of taste were powerful and pleasing.
"Oh Hillary, a bunch of stuff. The main thing was that my superior genetics with the new environment mutated me into what you see. A TREEEMENDOUS body that cannot age. Immortal, for all intents and purposes."
She reached for her crystal goblet - water? Water. She misjudged the distance and sent the crystal shattering on the floor. A splash, and then a puddle began forming.
A guttural cry came from the other end of the table. The worm quickly withdrew from the splash and puddle - much more quickly than a body that large should be able to.
"GUARDS! COME AND CLEAN THIS UP IMMEDIATELY!"
Did Hillary hear fear in his voice? Very possibly, yes, she thought so.
The servants mopped it up as Hillary the Ghola profusely apologized. "Nah, sweetie, don't worry about it", said a much calmer God Emperor.
"I meant to ask you, Your Greatness, about this environment you speak of. I've never been outside your palace, but all of the pictures of it in my lessons have it surrounded by desert. Did you move to a alien planet that was devoid of plant life?"
"No, Hillary, this is Earth."
Shock overcame her. "You mean to tell me that the Earth is nothing but desert now?"
"Mostly. Global warming was real, even though I didn't think so back in the old days. It was a good thing, though."
She glared at him, dismayed at his words and attitude.
"Yeah, you see it was tough to get at all the oil and uranium and other underground stuff we needed to get off this planet and reach for the stars, until we only had sand to worry about. That made it SOOOO much easier. Besides, we still have green spaces near the palace, like the old Central Park for instance."
She shook her head in disbelief and fell silent for awhile, saddened at what happened to Gaia.
"Oh now, don't look like that. Cheer up! Don't be like one of those Gorian jihadists. Whew, it was tough wiping them out, I tell you what. That ol' Al Gore, turning Muslim, that was a big shock lemme tell you. Helped me get my throne though, so I guess I should thank the sumbitch."
He slithered back on the throne-cart. "C'mon, let's go take care of those traitors who handed your predecessor a SocMed rifle. Talk about sad!"
(to be continued)