Reflections by Mary Anne Graham
For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.
- Isaiah 9:6 KJV
He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David:
And he shall reign over the house of Jacob for ever; and of his kingdom there shall be no end.
- Luke 1:31-32
Merry Christmas!
'Tis the Crazy Duck Lady's turn to blog over at All Day, All Night Writing Divas. This time I'm giving out the 411 on a new study that indicates love is all about geography.
Boogle on over to the Divas site and give my piece a read. THERE'S A HUNKY GUY IN AN AMERICAN FLAG THAT MAKES THE CLICK WORTHWHILE ALL ON HIS YUMMY OWN.
After you spend some quality time drooling over flag guy, be sure and leave a comment!
This is the 19th Year that London's Literary Review has handed out a prize known as the Bad Sex Award. Basically, it honors the "worst sex scene of the year." The prize was established in 1993 to highlight and discourage the "crude, tasteless, and often perfunctory use of redundant passages of sexual description in contemporary novels". The award itself is a plaster foot "which is supposed to represent something to do with sex, though no one seems sure what".
It's not a list you'd expect to see Stephen King, James Frey and Lee Child on - now is it? But they were just 3 of the nominated authors. The full list includes:
This year's prize was won by David Guterson for "Ed King," which is described as a "reimagining of Oedipus Rex". With that book, should Mr. Guterson have been surprised to win the tongue-in-cheek honor? One thinks ----- not. The author wasn't surprised, as it turns out. "Mr. Guterson sent a message: “Oedipus practically invented bad sex, so I’m not in the least bit surprised.”
In the ceremony where the award was presented to Guterson - or someone on behalf of his publisher, Bloomsbury, the judges said Guterson's sex scene won because of its “uncertain register, euphemism and ineffective irony,” particularly in the part where “she abused him with a bar of soap.” Parts of the entry that snagged Guterson the prize can be read here. I haven't read Guterson's book, but the description of the "no man's land" between a woman's "front parlor" and "back door" made me want to scream at the author to remind him that even if a book isn't a romance, a sex scene should always carry some emotion for the love of all ducks in the universe. It shouldn't ever read like confusing directions from the guy at the gas station. Romance has truly gone by the wayside when a character in the middle of a sex scene makes observations like “a freshly made ear and a freshly made vagina look very much alike”. That one's from Murakami's 1Q84, by the way.
One of the authors nominated this year had the dubious honor of having been nominated before. Christos Tsiolkas, whose "Dead Europe" was nominated this year, responded last year to his prior nomination for "The Slap" by speculating that the judges had "weird formative sex experiences at Eton". As Tsiolkas' comment was mentioned at this year's ceremony at London's In and Out Club, a member of the audience noted that the author's theory sounded "completely reasonable."
The books' highly sexed leading characters are compared to "wakening beasts, lightning rods, outrageous sea creatures and “the midnight train.” Quotes from this year's nominees include:
"In the shower, Ed stood with his hands at the back of his head, like someone just arrested, while she abused him with a bar of soap." (Ed King/Guterson)
"She was wearing jeans. The fabric whispered under my palm. She leaned back and her head bonked on the door. 'Ouch!' I said. 'Are you all right?'" (11.22.63/King)
"[Her breasts] seemed to be virtually uninfluenced by the force of gravity, the nipples turned beautifully upward, like a vine's new tendrils seeking sunlight." (1Q84/Murakami)
"Faster, harder, faster, harder. The room began to shake. Just faintly at first, like a mild constant tremor, like the edge of a far distant earthquake. The French door trembled in its frame. A glass rattled on the bathroom shelf. The floor quivered. The hall door creaked and shuttered. My shoes hopped and moved. The bedhead hammered against the wall. The floor shook hard. The walls boomed. Coins in my abandoned pocket tinkled." (The Affair/Child)
None of my books has made the list yet. I think that's because I can't write a sex scene without remembering that romance isn't about sex - sex is about romance. Likely, my books also haven't made the list because the judges haven't heard of me --- yet. But you never know - my books on Amazon are selling quite well in the UK so next year might be my year.
If next year's my year I'll begin my acceptance speech by commenting on the trophy and suggesting where they might put their foot....
While the Crazy Duck Woman works on some pressing things, I, the Angry Old Fat Dude, will feature one of a few comedy pieces I did for the now-defunct FlavaCountry.com back on Christmas Eve of 2001. I hope you enjoy it. If not, tough s*** I hate you anyway you Grinch-lookin' bastard.
Oh yeah, Christmas time. I've seen a lot "bah humbug" on the Interweb this year, what with the economic situation being in a slump and all.
Even though we may not be able to purchase a lot of things this season, we know we can at least see a good Christmas light presentation at the malls. The "Twelve Days of Christmas", "Winter Wonderland", and other such various secular, non-offensive Christmas carols provide themes to base a huge, yet tasteful, set of mall Christmas decorations upon.
However, if you've lived down here in the South for any substantial length of time, you should know one of the best kept Yuletide secrets we have here in the heart of Dixie. We rednecks don't go to the malls to see the best displays of Christmas lights in town. Oh no.
We go to the trailer parks.
Or "manufactured home villages", if you prefer the politically correct nomenclature. I and my extended family don't care for the sugarcoating; "trailer park" is an accurate term to describe where most of us live, and by God, we'd rather own a piece of s*** than rent the Taj Mahal. I can get into the origins of this philosophy at a later date, but not now. Now we're talking about CHRISTMAS.
...continue reading "The Best Kept Secret About Christmas in Dixie"
Huffpo published a piece about romance novel covers that proved the article's writer hadn't paid the first bit of attention to the linked video advertised in the headline. No matter.
The video is a Kensington romance novel covershoot and includes some great comments from industry pros at the publishing house. About the second or third time you watch it, you might be able to pay attention to the comments. Don't even try to take in the dialogue the first time around. The first time is a feast for the eyes and spirits of all who find returning to work after a holiday a real downer.
And like the headline says: You're Welcome.
It was a dark and stormy night on the last episode of Grey's that aired before the "mid-Winter break." (BTW - how do you get a job where there's a mid-Winter break? The couple of days the rest of us get off at Thanksgiving and Christmas don't nearly measure up to the length of these "breaks." ) The next new epi won't air until January 5, 2012.
The last episode aired was titled "Dark was The Night" and there's a good summary here and here to tickle your memory cells - if they need tickling. Personally, I'm up for a good tickle most any time. But that's for another blog post entirely. For this one, I'm doing one of my most favorite things - I'm donning my Swami Cap and guessin' Grey's. Keep in mind, my POV is from way over the top and Sunshine Shonda Rhimes is as likely to have written things the way I see 'em as I am to win the powerball lottery. Okay - it's more likely that I'll win the powerball.
The whole thing was dark and stormy. Lots of bad things happened to the characters, with one of the worst undoubtedly being the death of Henry on the OR table during a fairly routine procedure while his wife, Teddy, was operating on an emergency patient. So Teddy wasn't there when her hubby died and new-Chief Owen didn't tell her. By epi's end she still didn't know. And Cristina didn't know the patient she was called to do a heart procedure on was Teddy's hubby. She was rushing through becausec she'd been practicing for a procedure on her "dream list." And Owen didn't tell Cristina that the patient was Henry. She found out after he died.
There was lots of trauma to go around. Mer and Karev were called out to pick up a newborn infant who is having trouble breathing and must be transported to Seattle Grace. On the way back the ambulance stalls on a narrow mountain road and a paramedic goes off to get help after warning Mer and Alex that if anything hits the ambulance it'll explode b/c of all the oxygen tanks. The paramedic tells the pair to get out but neither will leave the baby. They're connected to the hospital for advice from Arizona who is in the middle of a procedure with Derek and Mark. Mark tells one of 'em to leave. Alex tells Mer to go but she refuses to leave the baby. While they argue, something hits the ambulance, they're thrown around and the OR loses the connection to the phone.
Der is finally struck by how much his wife means to him and he gets all jittery and teary and Jackson has to take over the surgery. (Maybe now he'll even stop trying to destroy Mer's career - you think?) In the closing scene Alex and Mer crawl out of the ambulance - apparently okay - and see a car tipped over and dead bodies thrown around. It's a tough scene and yeah - I wonder what it portends. Maybe I'll blog about those guesses later. The Duck Lady's over the top thoughts on that scene would likely be far more horrific than whatever Sunshine's crack writers dreamed up.
But that's not what this blog is about. This is about the call Mer/Der got from the social worker indicating that she didn't think they'd get Zola. She basically told 'em to move on. Der tells Mer that it's not over - they'll fight for Zola or get another baby. But Mer refuses and says Zola was their baby and she's gone. Mer says she doesn't want another one and for now McDreamy is feeling a little guilty that he pushed Mer towards motherhood before she was ready.
But one way or another, the pitter patter of little McDreamy feet seems inevitable, doesn't it? So - what route will the stork take to deliver a McDreamy bundle?
...continue reading "Grey Guesses: Tracking The Stork With The McDreamiest Bundle"
This week over at Smart Bitches, SB Sarah summarized a recent conference (link may be down; understand they are doing some work on the site) she attended. What caught my attention was the disagreement between Dr. Mary Bly, who writes as Eloisa James, and the President of the RWA (Romance Writer's Association) over a topic that - at first blush - seems very simple: What is romance?
The RWA Prez had been judging a Food Network Romance Cakes cooking competition. She ruled out one of the finalists because it showed a married couple. She said books featuring a married couple weren't romance novels.
It's an interesting question. What is romance? What books fit the genre? I guess every reader and every writer has their own definition. To me, a book is only a romance if it fits three key criteria.
First and foremost AND forever, amen - to be a romance it must have a happy ending. By that, I mean that by story's end the hero and the heroine must have committed themselves to more than a relationship. They must have committed themselves to each other forever. (My definition of a happy ending is pretty strict for such a loosey goosey duck lady, isn't it?)
Second, the book must focus on the relationship between a couple. And third, the book must focus more on internal than external action. It's both an exact and a very loose definition. But I don't think every book that many consider a romance fits. Several of Nicholas Sparks don't fit the definition because there's no HEA. Gabaldon's "Outlander" doesn't fit for the same reason.
A romance novel is a tale of the heart. Action, interaction, scenery and setting are window dressing. Emotion creates the story, emotion carries the story and emotion concludes the story.