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Category: Personal Life

Ramblings about me & my family.

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Recently, Forbes published a list of the 10 Happiest Jobs.  It followed publication of their list of the 10 Most Hated Jobs.  The only thing about the Forbes' list that really shocked me was that "author" didn't rank as the #1 Happy Job.  That's where it would place on my list. 

What was the biggest difference in the happy and the unhappy list? Forbes says "One set of jobs feels worthwhile, while in the other jobs, people can’t see the point." 

Here are the 10 happiest jobs:

1.  Clergy: 2. Firefighters: 3. Physical therapists: 4. Authors: 5.  Special education teachers: 6. Teachers: 7. Artists: 8. Psychologists: 9. Financial services sales agents: 10. Operating engineers.

Here are the 10 most hated jobs:

1. Director of Information Technology: 2. Director of Sales and Marketing; 3. Product Manager; 4. Senior Web Developer; 5. Technical Specialist; 6. Electronics Technician; 7. Law Clerk; 8. Technical Support Analyst; 9. CNC Machinist; 10. Marketing Manager.

If I had to put on my Swami Hat - and in this blog, I do, I really do - then I'd guess that what makes the happy list are jobs that give workers freedom to exercise independent judgment in a creative way.  Every job on the happy list does just that.  On the other hand, the jobs on the unhappy list  are tasks that are fairly rigid in their requirements and don't allow room for independence or personality. 

I still say that Forbes got it wrong.  The happiest job in the universe has to be working as a full time author. You get complete independence and creative control and if something isn't going the way you like - you just re-write it.

You know what?  I'm sure Forbes got it wrong. Author should be #1.  I DEMAND A RECOUNT.... especially if we get to go to Florida for it.  My eldest is in school in the City where Mickey Mouse lives. 

Recount, anyone? Or maybe a picket line.  We could all carry signs and chant lines from our favorite romance novels.  See - it would even be an entertaining kind of protest!

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Yep, peeps, once again my daring co-horts over at All Day, All Night Writing Divas have unleashed the crazy duck lady.  It was my turn to blog and instead of reporting me and calling for me to be committed, they just let me rip.  Would you read a blog crazy enough to let me post?

Anyway, this month I'm blogging about a great piece over at Huffpo by Dr. Drexler.  It's all about how men love and it contains some real surprises. I might post it here after it comes down at the other site, but you don't want to wait.  Trust me. 

So quack on over and read it this minute. Be sure to leave a comment because I'd love to hear your thoughts.

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A new study conducted by Northwestern University's Kellog School of Management & the Univeristy of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign asked 307 adults between the ages of 19 and 103 to describe their regrets.  Specifically, participants were asked to describe in detail one decision that they came to regret.

Regrets about romance led the list and women were much more likely to have romantic regrets than men.  Around 44% of women described relationship regrets as compared to only 19% of the men. 

"It speaks to something psychologists have known for a long time. Women are typically charged with the role of maintaining and preserving relationships, so when things do go wrong, it's very spontaneous for women to think, 'I should have done it some other way,'" said senior study author Neal Roese, a psychologist and professor of marketing at Northwestern. "It's how men and women are raised in this culture."

Men were more likely to have regrets about work or education. The work regrets centered on failing to take a risk and accept a different job or working at an occupation that they didn't feel passionate about.

The most interesting part of the study is that the long-term regrets were much more often about what participants didn't do. Yes, Virginia, the long term regrets centered on the risks not taken.  And the study noted that the biggest basis for the regrets were that people didn't try - what people rember are the times they failed to go for their dreams.  

Yesterday is over and none of us can change the past.  However, we can and should think about our regrets and learn from them so that we can change our future.   

"Regret is an essential part of the human experience," Roese said. "You should listen to the lessons your regrets tell you, which is quite often how you could have done things differently or how you could change things."

This is something that we can all change - starting today.  If you're single or single again and regretting the one that got away - look him or her up. Facebook and Twitter have made the world a much smaller place.  Finding that someone and giving them a Holla' won't cost you a thing.  If you regret that you didn't go for your Masters or that you didn't study psychology instead of business - get online and enroll in a class now. Even if you can't afford a big education budget, you can probably afford to take that first step.

And if you're like me, and your regret is not working hard at your writing so that you could become a full-time author, then today is the day to dedicate yourself to that too. Work on your writing every day. Make progress - at least some progress- on your WIP every day.  Don't let a single day go by without being active on Twitter, Facebook, Your Blog. 

And if you have a book or two out now - market by doing all of that social networking, but don't forget the best way to market - track down blogs - lots of blogs- and comment.  When some of your thoughts hit home with another reader, they're likely to click your blog and check out your list of books. Before you know it, you may have made another sale.

Today is a good day to turn a past regret into a future success.  Let's all give it a shot and see how far we can go.  If we try, we may fail. But if we fail to try, we'll always regret it!

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I don't want this to come off as a "woe is me" post. It's not about the 'woe.' It's about how you know...

I've been in the world a while and for most of that while I've been typing on a keyboard. One thing that's not good for is the wrists. Yep, carpal tunnel.

The funny thing is that it started with my left wrist. And I'm right handed. Go figure. But I went to CVS and picked up a brace for my left wrist. For a while I wore it all day. But it was tough to do things. So finally, I just wore it at night.

Guess what? Today, I finally had to break down and buy one for the right hand. Yep. My dominant hand is playing follow the leader. Seeing a doctor for tests and prescriptions or having surgery isn't an option currently.  Today's about "do it yourself" treatment.     

I tried wearing both of 'em for a while. But you know what? They get in the way. And they get in the way MORE with my right hand. So, I decided I'll put 'em on at night, sometime after my bath, when I'm starting to wind down on writing for the day. Because if it interferes with writing, then it's gotta go.

I joke all the time about how I'd love not to be doing my day job. And carpal tunnel is one of those things that could be disabling. So I could apply for disability. But you know what? That wouldn't be a dream at all. It'd be more of a nightmare. How could that possibly be, you ask?

Well, it's because hurting a little or a lot - I'd write. I'd write whether anyone bought my stuff or not. Because - I'm a writer. It's not what I do. It's who I am.

People in the e-age have some perception that writing is glamorous or that it'll make you rich. Truthfully, writing is not a'tall glamorous. It's something you're doing while the clothes are in the washer. And you're usually in sweats and a comfy shirt. And your world shrinks to the size of a computer. There are no photographers chasing you or fans begging for an autograph. And no Brinks truck is showing up to throw money at you. I'm still tickled every single time a number changes at Amazon or Smashwords. Every sale makes me say a silent "thank you" to the reader.

While I wouldn't mind making a lot of money, I'd sure hate to lose that sense of wonder every time some mysterious person somewhere in the world hit the buy button. And I could think about that reader just starting a journey over the top with a love story by the crazy Duck Lady.

If you're writing because you're chasing fame or fortune - then you're not going to be writing long. Because writing is not a means to an end - writing is the end itself. Writing is not the vehicle that will get you to riches and independence. Writing is riches and independence. It's more than the journey - writing itself is the reward.

Mostly, writing is just me, my imagination, my aching wrists and the machine. And that's better than okay. That's everything.

Although writing full time is my dream job, it's more than that. It's not just what I do - it's who I am. That's what I wish for my sons. Find what makes you who you are and then try to make money doing that. Because whether it's a hobby or a career, your life won't be the same without it. There might not even be life without it. You are who you are and I am who I am. Let's celebrate that. Let's pursue that.

But, if I get stuck in my day job for the rest of my working life, I'll still come home at night, sit down at my laptop and write stories where two people find out that each is the other's happily ever after.

Don't write because you can. Only write if you have to. There are many easier routes to fortune and fame.

Only write if you're a writer.

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Any bargain hunters out there? 

These days that question is funny.  Who isn't a bargain hunter in this economy?  Well, we at QA Romances have got a real deal for all the bargain minded Kindle owners.  The Forever Series - A Faerie Fated Forever, A Golden Forever and A Sixth Sense of Forever - have just been released as a bundle for Kindle. 

 And what a bundle it is.  It's priced as a BUY 2, GET 1 FREE steal of a deal.  That's right, for only $5.99, Kindle owners can download 1 bundle that contains all 3 books in my Forever series.  The bundle will migrate to SW and feel out to all its fine partners (B&N, Apple, Kobo, Diesel, Sony, etc) soon. But that will take a bunch of formatting and my hubby is tangling with taxes right now. 

Tax tanglin' time around the house is when I bury all sharp objects and hide the youngest under the bed.  So it isn't exactly the time when I'd walk into the torture chamber (our bedroom) and confront the wild eyed dragon (the hubby I love enough to die for) to ask for more formatting.  It'll come to SW soon, but for now, it's a Kindle exclusive. 

The Forever Series has faeries and curses and even a witch or two, but the focus isn't the paranormal.  It's about men who've been conditioned by life to believe a few things.  One of those things is that they'll always get what they want, when they want it.  Another is women are easier to catch than a good hand of cards.  And if one good looking card gets away, 'tis nothing to fret over.  There will be another along in just a skinny minute. What happens when those men meet women who teach them that they've been wrong about everything? 

It's about men who've been too spoiled to learn a lesson the easy way.  They'd rather send away the dangerous lady and keep their lives on a happy, carefree keel.  The men don't learn until it's too late that they can't get their old lives back because they're not the same anymore.  And maybe they can't live without that one particular lady.  What will they do to get her back?  And what will it cost them? 

The Forever series, from start to finish, is a roller coaster that takes you over the top and never looks back.  It's an outrageous, outlandish, modestly bawdy ride to regions where men in love act the way women have always wished they'd act.  It's a feast of outrageous antics for the price of a combo at Burger King or Wendy's. 

Besides, I had to do a bundle.  I love bundles.  Unfortunately, I don't own a Kindle, but when I go to the Sony Store to load up my reader, my first stop is always in the bundle section.  I like the value and the continuity of getting several books in one purchase.  We'll probably bundle the other 3 I have currently out soon, but 2 are contemporaries (E-mail Enticement, Griffin's Law) and the other is a Western/Historical (Brotherly).  So the title of that one will be a challenge.  I could borrow from Harlequin and name it "The Tycoon, The Professor and The Cowboy Bundle".  I could get cute and call it "Bundle - Love, The Law & Cowboy Boots."  Or I could describe the guys involved and call it the "So Sexy Bundle."  

All the naming fun of Bundle 2 is for the future, but not too far in the future. I like the value of bundles and hubby knows that there are lots of other ladies like me.  Label something Buy 2 and Get 1 Free and by God, it's probably going in a woman's real - or virtual - shopping cart.  And at QA Romances, we want to see lots and lots of our books being read and enjoyed by folks from all over.  If that happens, I might be able to write full time. 

Boy, could I turn out some books if writing was my day job. 

For now I have another day job, and in this economy, I'm lucky to have it.  With prices of everything soaring, I really wanted to put out a bundle at a value price that almost everyone can afford.  And now the Forever Series Bundle is available at Kindle, so I hope that if you own a Kindle or any PC or other device that processes Kindle ebooks, you'll wheel your virtual cart over and pick up my brand new Bundle. 

At $5.99, like I said, it costs less than a lot of combos at fast food chains.  It has a lot less calories and you'll enjoy it for a lot longer.  How often do you get to see men in love behaving like you always imagined your man would when he fell in love with you? 

Pick up the Forever Series today.  It's an indulgence you can afford.

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Hi boys and girls, it's the husband again. Mary Anne is busy on other writing. I don't know how she manages to generate so many words, but I do have to deal with the strain it puts on her wrists. "Honey, rub my arms again." Yes dear. Rubbing her arms is a labor of love, much like the labor she puts into her books.

So please allow me to regale you with a tale of an epiphany I had a few days ago.

I was talking with our youngest boy (who loves to talk - not converse, mind you, but talk, as in making noise with his mouth) and I was at my old man best. I was telling him about things he'd never seen in regards to the extended family, because we haven't visited a lot of them.

One of the phenomena he'd never encountered was the "other" living room. I know this is a widespread thing, because I've heard comedians do entire routines on it, and they get laughs every time they talk about it. You don't make people laugh by telling them things they can't relate to.

I've had a few relatives, usually little old aunts, with two living rooms in their houses. One was the "real" living room, where everybody was welcome and would sit and drink coffee, shoot the breeze, and watch TV.

The "other" living room is cordoned off from everybody. It's the one where the sofa and all the upholstered chairs are wrapped tight in that weird bumpy see-through vinyl, all the tables are polished to a high gloss, the rugs have fringe that is straightened and parallel, and all the lamps have lace doilies underneath them.

...continue reading "The Other Living Room"

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I had an experience last week that has me thinking about life in general.  The experience may not have been earth shattering for anyone else, but it sure means a lot to me.  I got my mojo back.

At first I didn't realize it was missing.  I was still writing, wasn't I?  Well, sort of.  I still wrote.  I still opened my laptop and kept plugging along on my WIP, The Duke of Eden. Okay, I was plodding than plugging but I was writing.  Every weekend and a couple of nights a week I made myself write.  Made myself write? Yeah, I did.  I realized that I wasn't writing for the joy of it. I wasn't writing because I had to write.  I wasn't writing because I couldn't NOT write.  That's when I knew it was gone.

But lots of things are gone these days. Perhaps life changes, reduces, contracts, but it goes on.  I think we've all learned to walk away from things.  We've let them go and kept walking because that's what we had to do.  So even if my writer's mojo had left me, I didn't need it.  I'd keep walking and I'd even keep writing.  I'd keep going forward until it got better.  Because if I kept going, it would get better, wouldn't it?

Except lots of time passed and it didn't get better.  I kept moving forward but I never got anywhere.  The holidays went by and I adored having my family together and my eldest home where he belongs.  But there was lots of time for me to write over the holidays.  I couldn't spend every moment in Zack's room staring at him sappily while he played World of Warcraft.  (Eventually he'd kick me out.)

When I'd get evicted from Zack-watching I'd go by and pester John and then stop in to pester my youngest, Sam.  All of them stay fairly ensconced at a computer somewhere. So I'd head back to the den where my Toshiba Satellite sits on a nice little folding table I got for Christmas a few years ago from my hubby.  I'd sit on my end of the love seat and spend more time watching TV than working on my book.  Whole days would pass with me cranking out a paragraph.  On a good day, I might write 2 paragraphs.  That should've been a sharp wake up call for someone who used to laugh at people who said a writer's prime was about 6 pages a day.

...continue reading "Sometimes You Have To Go Backwards To Go Forwards"

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Last night's episode of Grey's Anatomy was called "Start Me Up." And it sure got me started. Pardon me for a bit while I crawl up on my soapbox. Because, you see, I think that "Start Me Up" included the biggest gaffe ever made by Grey's.

And yes, we're talking about a show where I've not missed an episode since it debuted as a mid-season replacement in 2005. That's more than a little bit sad, if you think about it, but loyalty is so embedded in my makeup that it may be as much vice as virtue. In all of these years, I've not seen the GA writers get it as wrong as they did last night - in one particular scene.

I'm talking about the scene where Teddy's hubby-for-insurance-only, Henry, was under the knife. Thanks to the quickie marriage and the brand new insurance, Henry can now have surgery for a recurring condition he's suffered from for years that causes repeated tumors. So newly-insured Henry, now Mr. Teddy,  is on the OR table while the Chief and Bailey are operating. Right in the middle of the surgery, a medical student, who's observing, makes a comment and it causes the docs to examine Henry's interior a little closer. And what do they find?

There's a big ole cyst on Henry's pancreas. Not just any cyst, this one is a big cancerous cyst that is about to burst and kill Henry. So what do the good docs do? They call in Teddy, Henry's wife, a cardiac surgeon herself, to find out how Teddy wants them to handle the monstrous cyst.  Does she want it removed?  CAKE OR DEATH?

Teddy and Henry, as noted above, are basically strangers.  She did a good deed by marrying him to get him insured.  Like the cliche says, no good deed goes unpunished and the Chief wants Teddy to crawl.  When the Chief demands her decision, Teddy sort of haltingly says they should remove the cyst.  Then it's time for a half-shell buffet featuring Teddy, common sense, and the Grey's writers good judgment and excellent reputations.  Because the Chief tells Teddy - not so fast, girlfrog.  You better think about this.

Chief tells Teddy that if the pancreas is removed or mostly removed, it'll likely make Henry a Type I diabetic.  Can Henry handle such a serious, such a volatile disease?  Does he have a good family support system?  Teddy doesn't know.  Then again, she doesn't know much about her new hubby.  That, of course, was the Chief's point.  Ultimately, she tells them to remove the cyst and Henry survives the surgery.

But let's back up for a minute.  Grey's writers crafted a scene where they asked if it's better to be a living Type I diabetic or a dead man with an intact pancreas.  WTF???  The Chief, while grilling Teddy, notes that Type I diabetes is a difficult disease to manage, so she should carefully consider whether they should operate or not.  Apparently, the Chief thinks that death is easier to manage than Type I diabetes.

Death never seemed like a manageable condition to me.

You see, I'm a Type I diabetic.  Millions of  living, breathing Americans are Type I diabetics.  I'm betting that, like me, every one of them considers Type I preferable to death.  Type I diabetes is a condition that can be managed.  Outside of some rocking paranormal romance novels, death is pretty much a condition that ends all management.

What makes this even worse is that this scene comes from a show that tries to be oh-so-conscientious about how it portrays G/L/B/TG issues, women's rights issues and even death penalty issues.  Coming from this show this scene looks like a big, obvious, flat-out insult to millions of American diabetics.

Type I diabetes may not look like cake - unless the other choice is death.

There's not much I'd carry a picket sign for, but if the American Diabetes Association wants to stage a protest over this one, I just might carry a sign.

Mine would read - No, I'm Not Better Off Dead.

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It's the male again, pinch-hitting for Mary Anne who is in emotional turmoil after seeing our oldest son off to Orlando once again.

Thinking about our sons and our relationships with them made me appreciate a recent news story and its ties with universal and timeless themes woven throughout humanity's broad narrative tapestry much more.

No matter what else you think about the Bible, it can't be denied that it has been the most influentual piece of literature in mankind's short history. Its myriad stories collectively cover most (if not all) of Polti's 36 plots, and Jesus's teaching via parables allows even those of us who are mentally dense (read: me!) to access deep philosophical concepts.

The parable that is most applicable to Ted Williams, who was the "homeless man with the golden voice", is the parable of the prodigal son.

Initially, Mr. Williams' story didn't intrigue me that much, though it warmed my heart a little. All I had seen was this video (also embedded below), which went viral a few days after its debut.

From the news coverage afterwards, I knew Mr. Williams had given himself over to alcohol, drugs, and crime in the past, and had been sober for awhile but had been reduced to begging on the road, and had some job offers after being (re)discovered. It was good to hear, especially in this economy, that someone so down on his luck and trying to scramble back up from a difficult position in his life was able to get back on his feet again.

...continue reading "Compelling Stories – The Prodigal Son’s Redemption"

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Published on 1 Comment on AOFM-MWU – Geeking Out – Linux

Hello kiddies, the irritated corpulent male here.

I decided to "geek out" on you fools. You see, I've had the Linux itch for a few years now, ever since I assembled a desktop computer out of spare parts for my parents and wanted to avoid paying for another copy of Windows XP. I had heard about Ubuntu being the easiest variant of Linux to install, and that it also resembled Windows the most.

So I tried to bust into the world of open source operating systems. Ubuntu installed easily enough, recognized most of the hardware with one exception - the modem.

My parents had (and still have) dial-up Internet access. They live so far out in the woods that the Deliverance Banjo Boy keeps telling them that they need to move closer to town. And if there's nothing else to know about Ubuntu, there's the fact that it requires a broadband Internet connection to accomplish anything with it, and that IT'S A HELL OF LOT MORE COMPLICATED THAN WINDOWS!

So it was a no-go for my parents, but I vowed that I would have my vengeance on little Billy Gates, oh yes. Vengeance. Raging, fist-shaking, snorting and drooling nerd vengeance.

At last, today, I have my fat geek vengeance. I have resurrected a laptop from that great computer graveyard - our garage - and now its undead carcass is stumbling around on the Internet with a dark, unholy free operating system powering its formerly lifeless appendages.

...continue reading "AOFM-MWU – Geeking Out – Linux"