Hey kiddies, it's the husband again.
Mary Anne is working on wrapping up Duke of Eden for all of you who are lusting for some closure on that serial, so blogging duties have fallen on me once again.
Let me pull out and dust off something I wrote back on December 10, 2003. It was not quite the height of the Hate Bush II movement, since it was still his first term, but the Left and their allies in the news media outlets were getting fired up with anti-war rhetoric and hypocritical hatred of Dubya.
Now with the Libya operations, there has been a strange turnaround with the rhetoric. You too can be prepared to predict these turnarounds (among many other trends) if you simply memorize the guide to television news I wrote over 7 years ago:
I have listed every subject of every network news story you will ever see in bold, with the synopsis of each story following it.
- War, America involved, Republican president in White House.
War bad. Americans bad. Americans losing. President want resource from other country in war, or he just want brown people dead and want to waste American tax money on brown people who didn't die.
- War, America involved, Democratic president in White House.
War okay. Americans okay. Americans do good. President don't want anything but to help brown people by killing some of them and giving rest of them American tax money.
- War, Israel involved.
War bad. Israel bad. Why Jews not dead yet? Stupid Jews, always wanting to live.
- War, America nor Israel involved.
War? What war? Maybe this end up on Jeopardy next year.
- Scandal, government.
Stupid Republicans. We need to give government more money to keep this from happening.
- Scandal, corporate.
Stupid Republicans. We need to give government more money to keep this from happening.
- Economy bad, Republican president in White House.
Stupid president. He cause all economy problems. We need Democratic president.
- Economy bad, Democratic president in White House.
Stupid Republican president who was in White House before Democratic president. He cause all economy problems. We need to give government more money.
- Economy good, Democratic president in White House.
YAY! President good!
- Economy good, Republican president in White House.
Yay! Democratic president in White House before Republican president was good! Poor people suffering. Republican president not helping poor people.
- Tragic natural disaster happens.
Lots of people hurt and dead. We ask how they feel. They feel bad, sometimes cry. Whole thing caused by global warming/pollution/bad juju from big bad American companies. Solution? Give government more money.
- Tragic man-made disaster happens.
Lots of people hurt and dead. We ask how they feel. They feel bad, sometimes cry. Whole thing caused by American government and big bad American companies. Solution? Give government more money.
- Tragic disaster happens in American South.
Lots of people hurt and dead. We ask rednecks how they feel. They say they heard noise that sounded just like a freight train. We give you time to laugh at dumb rednecks, then hint that you give government more money.
- Celebrity in trouble with law.
Guilty, until proven entertaining.
- Non-white crime victim.
Evil white person/people hurt black person. Racists should die. Government needs more money to fight racism.
- Homosexual crime victim.
Evil straight men hurt gay person. Homophobes should die. Government needs more money to fight homophobia.
- White, heterosexual crime victim.
Pretty white girl hurt or missing.
- Really weird thing happened in foreign country.
Stupid crazy foreigners.
- Really weird thing happened in America.
Stupid crazy rednecks.
- Common thing that lots of Americans enjoy.
Thing bad! Don't buy thing! Thing will kill you, your children, and people in foreign lands! Give government money to stop thing from killing people!
- Common thing that lots of Americans don't like.
Thing good! Buy thing! Thing helps you, your children, and people in France and Africa! Give government money to get more of this thing!
- Internet.
Internet bad. News on Internet not good as news on TV. Stupid Internet. Stop reading Internet. Watch us instead. We know what we talking about. Give government money to stop Internet.