Did you ever wonder why men were so preoccupied with food and sex, while women were so much more complex? Sit back for a bit while yours truly, Angry Old Fat Man, explains how the whole situation came about.
Once upon a time, God created the Earth and all the things on it.
Well, actually, God wrote up all the plans and specifications for Creation, then handed them off to his angels to implement. This division of labor was the archetype for many organizational hierarchies afterwards, of course, and as you can probably guess from the Enrons and failing banks of today, it had less than perfect results.
Let me explain.
You see, most everything was going fine. Heaven's factories were producing living creatures at a blazing rate, and the world was being populated by all of the creeping, crawling, swimming, running, leaping, and flying things it needed right on schedule. Lucifer, though he was an extremely efficient manager, had been fired much earlier when he attempted a hostile takeover by forming an illegal worker's union. The Archangels Gabriel and Michael were promoted and got everything back under control, right up until the time arrived to create mankind.
Mankind was meant to be the ultimate creation, and the towering stack of specs that the Big Guy handed down to management showed it. Humans were supposed to be able to discern millions of different colors, in order to truly appreciate all of the subtle shades in God's triumphant sunrises and relaxing sunsets. They were supposed to be capable of feeling every nuance of luxuriantly soft grasses and leaves, flowing water, and nourishing sunlight. They were supposed to perceive and enjoy all varieties of sweet sounds, from the softest chirp of a cricket, to the gentle crash of ocean waves, to the deafening roar of a waterfall. And finally, they should have been able to smell all of the beautiful, delicate aromas that permeated the newly-made Earth.
Unfortunately, Gabriel and Michael decided on that day that all of the angels had been working so hard that they could take the day off. All of the angels, except for the one who they felt deserved another chance at redeeming himself. That angel was Bob.
Angel Bob was the biggest screw-up in the Heavenly Host. Bob was first assigned to the Birds Department, where he managed to read the blueprints wrong and put all of the birds' kneecaps on backwards. That fiasco got Bob reassigned to the Small Mammals Department, where he was put in charge of making beavers. When he ran out of beaver snouts and uteri, he screwed up the requisition form by putting his old department number on it and got duck parts instead. He tried to cover up the fiasco by renaming the resulting product "platypus", but by that time the damage was done.
So Angel Bob was very surprised at being assigned the manufacture of mankind, and vowed to do the job right this time.
Bob slavishly pored over the tech sheets and specifications for most of the day, then began his work. He started on making the female first, which was the customary way all of Earth's creatures were constructed. Bob assembled the small chassis and put all of the organs, circulatory system, and muscles in place. Then, he lowered the wonderfully complex brain into the cranium and started wiring the whole thing up. At this point, Bob went a little nuts trying to comply with all of the Supreme Being's requirements. He stuck nerve endings in every conceivable space he could find. Finally, his frenzy passed, and he calmed down and enclosed the body with its proper skin.
After a break, Bob started on the male of the species. Things were going smoothly until he got to the nervous system and realized that he had used up almost all of the nerve endings on the female! Bob panicked. The deadline was fast approaching and he knew he couldn't bluff his way past this screw-up. So he called up his bosses, Michael and Gabriel, and apprised them of the situation.
The two archangels came down to the plant floor to help Bob. Even they didn't know what to do in this case, though, because there weren't any more nerve endings to be found anywhere, and the woman was already fully assembled. They called up God, in hopes that He could conjure up some nerve endings for the man.
God wandered on down to the shop floor, and saw all three angels scratching their heads in bewilderment. "I made all of the nerve endings necessary to complete two full humans, and now you tell me that this pitiful little amount is all that you have left?"
Bob, Gabriel, and Michael nodded sadly. "Yes, Lord. We can't make the man to your specifications, and we're at a loss at what to do now with what's left."
God studied the man's form for a bit, then looked back at the tray with the nerve endings, then spoke to his angels. "Let's see, what's the most important things for any creatures' survival?"
Gabe hesitated, then answered, "Nourishment?"
"Yes, very good! That is the most important thing for one creature's survival. Now, what about creatures, as in plural?"
Michael sputtered, "R-r-reproduction?"
"Exactly!", God said. "So, to ensure that mankind can survive, divide the nerve endings equally between the male's stomach and his penis, then close him up. Problem solved."
It was Bob's turn to stammer. "B-b-b-but, Lord! Won't he be stupid compared to the female? Surely that'll make him too ashamed to even be near her!"
God contemplated Bob's comments for a bit, then brightened.
"When you place them on Earth and wake them up, tell the man that he was the one who I personally made first. That should fix any and all self-esteem problems."
They all had a hearty laugh at that one, and from what I can tell, they've been laughing ever since.