Hi guys, it's the Angry One, making a small contribution from the storehouse of dysfunction that is Crazy Duck Lady's husband's brain.
Over a decade ago, I used to write little comedy bits for websites here and there. They are all gone now, but I've managed to dredge up a few little things from my packrat hard drive. A couple of them I've put on the blog here already, but there was one series in particular that I enjoyed writing - the story of Ogg and Linda, caveman and wife.
I used a lot of my own experiences with women and the funny differences between them and the male half of the species for material. After a marriage lasting over 25 years and interaction with women on a daily basis at the workplace, the comedy almost wrote itself.
This particular story came from my helping the ladies of the one of the departments in my workplace move their offices around.
There are some things in our climb from the swamp to the stars that will never change for women, one of those things being a dissatisfaction with all arrangements of furniture...
OGG: Ugh, what you want now woman?
LINDA: I think that oak log looks better over on the west side of the cave, next to the two boulders there.
OGG: YOU HAD LOG THERE TWO DAY AGO. ME GOT WET FROM RAIN WHEN SIT ON LOG.
LINDA: Well, let's just mo...
OGG: WHAT YOU MEAN LETS. YOU MEAN OGG DON'T YOU.
LINDA: Well, I'm a weak little woman and you're the big brutish caveman aren't you? *I'm* certainly not capable of throwing huge rocks and wood around, am I?
OGG: OH NO WOMAN ASKING QUESTIONS THIS BAD ME CONFUSED.
LINDA: Okay then, just move the log over there then, alright?
OGG: UGGGGGGGGGGGGGH OKAY OKAY ME MOVE IT.
*Ogg sits in the rain for the entirety of the next week*
OGG: Why Ogg get woman anyway. Ugh.
*Linda skips happily through the room, kisses Ogg on his sloping forehead*
OGG: Oh. That why.
fin