I read a fun piece on Huffpo titled: "8 Reasons Why Sex Is Better After 50." Having just turned 50 last month, I found the article interesting and possibly even - inspirational. (Be afraid, Mr. Duck. Be very afraid!)
The piece was written by Suzanne Braun Levine and it cited a study done by the University of California at San Diego School of Medicine and the San Diego VA Healthcare System. The 806 women studied were over 40, with an average aged participant being 67. The ladies participated in a larger study that has tracked the health of residents in a planned San Diego Community, Rancho Bernardo, for over 40 years.
Two Thirds of the women studied reported that they were moderately or very satisfied with their sex lives. Less than 3% reported that they always or almost always desired sex. The results mean that the women engaged in sex for a number of reasons including desire but more often to affirm or sustain a relationship. Many of the women who reported being very satisfied with their sex lies weren't engaged in active sexual relationships. They found sexual satisfaction through touching, caressing or the myriad other small touches exchanged throughout a long relationship.
A highlight of the study -- the proportion of women satisfied with their sex lives increased as the women got older.
Ms. Levine says she's talked to "hundreds" of ladies like those in the study for her books and she thinks there are 8 reasons why sex gets better for women as they mature:
1. They can separate sex from reproduction;
2. They can separate sex from love;
3. They can separate sex from sin;
4. They're more willing to say "what the hell;"
5. They're not riding the hormonal roller coaster;
6. They're motivated to discover new ways to have orgasms;
7. They've developed a more optimistic outlook;
8. Drugs like Viagra.
Levine makes the point that women in this range have passed "the reaches of conventional good-girl morality." She calls "this rule-breaking behavior the Fuck-You-Fifties." Women over 50 are risk takers who don't have to risk pregnancy to walk on the wild side. The author feels that the 50+ ladies have mellowed with age. They've learned to "sweat the small stuff less and cherish the moment more."
The Fuck-You-Fifties? If I'd known that, I'd have rushed to try to get here faster. It all makes sense to me, because when I was younger I worried so about what others would think about something I felt or did or said. Now that I'm older, I'm much more at home and at ease in my own skin. If I hear now that someone didn't like or didn't approve of something I think or said or did, my reaction is apt to be - okay, and why should I care? I've finally gotten smart enough to understand how right Popeye was - "I yam what I yam and that's all what I yam."
Given all that, given how aging makes me accept myself - sags, bags, stubbornness and all - it only makes sense that like fine wine, sex gets better with age.
Now where is Mr. Duck hiding this time .......