A new study conducted by Northwestern University's Kellog School of Management & the Univeristy of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign asked 307 adults between the ages of 19 and 103 to describe their regrets. Specifically, participants were asked to describe in detail one decision that they came to regret.
Regrets about romance led the list and women were much more likely to have romantic regrets than men. Around 44% of women described relationship regrets as compared to only 19% of the men.
"It speaks to something psychologists have known for a long time. Women are typically charged with the role of maintaining and preserving relationships, so when things do go wrong, it's very spontaneous for women to think, 'I should have done it some other way,'" said senior study author Neal Roese, a psychologist and professor of marketing at Northwestern. "It's how men and women are raised in this culture."
Men were more likely to have regrets about work or education. The work regrets centered on failing to take a risk and accept a different job or working at an occupation that they didn't feel passionate about.
The most interesting part of the study is that the long-term regrets were much more often about what participants didn't do. Yes, Virginia, the long term regrets centered on the risks not taken. And the study noted that the biggest basis for the regrets were that people didn't try - what people rember are the times they failed to go for their dreams.
Yesterday is over and none of us can change the past. However, we can and should think about our regrets and learn from them so that we can change our future.
"Regret is an essential part of the human experience," Roese said. "You should listen to the lessons your regrets tell you, which is quite often how you could have done things differently or how you could change things."
This is something that we can all change - starting today. If you're single or single again and regretting the one that got away - look him or her up. Facebook and Twitter have made the world a much smaller place. Finding that someone and giving them a Holla' won't cost you a thing. If you regret that you didn't go for your Masters or that you didn't study psychology instead of business - get online and enroll in a class now. Even if you can't afford a big education budget, you can probably afford to take that first step.
And if you're like me, and your regret is not working hard at your writing so that you could become a full-time author, then today is the day to dedicate yourself to that too. Work on your writing every day. Make progress - at least some progress- on your WIP every day. Don't let a single day go by without being active on Twitter, Facebook, Your Blog.
And if you have a book or two out now - market by doing all of that social networking, but don't forget the best way to market - track down blogs - lots of blogs- and comment. When some of your thoughts hit home with another reader, they're likely to click your blog and check out your list of books. Before you know it, you may have made another sale.
Today is a good day to turn a past regret into a future success. Let's all give it a shot and see how far we can go. If we try, we may fail. But if we fail to try, we'll always regret it!