I've been stuck in the final lap for a while now.
Yep, I'm writing the final, climactic chapter of my new contemporary romance. The problem is that I've been writing the final chapter for a couple of months. It should have been long finished. By now, I should have finished the new one, finshed a pre-publication edit of A Sixth Sense Of Forever - the sequel to Faerie and Golden - AND started on my next project. Instead, I keep getting side-tracked on tangents, writing pages of text over one weekend and not getting back to it until the next weekend. Then, when I read it back over, I realize that it's all wrong - either wrong for the mood, wrong for the characters, or wrong for the story. I hit delete and write the section over again.
I've been making myself write - at least on the weekends. I know I should write something every day. I used to do that. It used to be that I couldn't wait to get home and write. The words would be churning inside, just waiting to burst free. But these days, it's sometimes tough to write on the weekends. The problem is that my muse has turned fickle.
My muse used perch on my shoulder whether I was writing or not, urging me to the keyboard even when I should be doing other things. These days, I have to sit down to write and plead for muse to show up. Sometimes I write for days without her appearing at all. I didn't realize the difference until this morning, when she appeared about the time I opened my keyboard.
Of course, when I sat down to write it used to be that I wasn't bothered about this bill or that bill. I never used to have worries and reality intruding on my happy endings. These times aren't those times. These days, I'm grateful to be able to find the time to write. If I can find time to write and my muse shows up too, well, that's a good day.
I believe that times will get better. Until they do, writers, like everyone else, must deal with reality first. But writers have a special gift. We can create happy endings. In these tough times, people need to believe that it's still possible to find a special someone. It's important to believe that whatever separates you and that special someone from a happy ever after can be conquered. And it can.
Writers have to believe in happy endings. We have to be able to show people that better times are ahead. If we can't do it, who can?
Reality is hard. Some days are harder than others. But the thing I work to remember is that no matter how bad a day is, I can come home and write a better one.