{"id":1391,"date":"2010-12-19T15:48:11","date_gmt":"2010-12-19T19:48:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/quackingalone.com\/blog\/?p=1391"},"modified":"2013-08-03T16:59:23","modified_gmt":"2013-08-03T20:59:23","slug":"have-you-seen-this-elf","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/quackingalone.com\/blog\/2010\/12\/19\/have-you-seen-this-elf\/","title":{"rendered":"Have You Seen This Elf?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: center\">\n<figure id=\"attachment_1392\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-1392\" style=\"width: 448px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/quackingalone.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/AOFM_blog_elf-004.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-1392 \" src=\"https:\/\/quackingalone.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/AOFM_blog_elf-004.jpg\" alt=\"AOFM Elf\" width=\"448\" height=\"299\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-1392\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">This elf is dangerous. Do not approach. Call appropriate authorities.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<h1 style=\"text-align: center\">WANTED<\/h1>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">This elf is wanted in connection to several incidents of the following:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<div style=\"text-align: left\">Aggravated holiday shopping<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div style=\"text-align: left\">Silliness in the first degree<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div style=\"text-align: left\">Random acts of smiling and Christmas cheer<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">\u00a0<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">This elf has been most recently observed in Wal-Mart, though he has been spotted in other retail establishments around Myrtle Beach as well. He is armed. He has\u00a0two of them in fact, and has been seen carrying presents in both of them. \u00a0He has recently begun to victimize small children by grinning at them with malicious happiness and terrorizing store clerks with loud proclamations of \"Merry Christmas\".<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">\u00a0<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">\u00a0<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">DO NOT ATTEMPT TO APPREHEND HIM YOURSELF! ALERT THE PROPER AUTHORITIES!<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_1393\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-1393\" style=\"width: 288px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><a href=\"https:\/\/quackingalone.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/Burgermeister-Meisterburger.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-1393\" src=\"https:\/\/quackingalone.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/Burgermeister-Meisterburger.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"288\" height=\"338\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-1393\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Burgermeister Meisterburger<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<figure id=\"attachment_1394\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-1394\" style=\"width: 400px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><a href=\"https:\/\/quackingalone.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/grinch.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-1394\" src=\"https:\/\/quackingalone.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/grinch.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"299\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-1394\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">The Grinch<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<figure id=\"attachment_1395\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-1395\" style=\"width: 320px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><a href=\"https:\/\/quackingalone.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/Scrooge.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-1395\" src=\"https:\/\/quackingalone.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/Scrooge.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"291\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-1395\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Ebenezer Scrooge<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>WANTED This elf is wanted in connection to several incidents of the following: Aggravated holiday shopping Silliness in the first degree Random acts of smiling and Christmas cheer \u00a0 This elf has been most recently observed in Wal-Mart, though he has been spotted in other retail establishments around Myrtle Beach as well. He is armed. <a href=\"https:\/\/quackingalone.com\/blog\/2010\/12\/19\/have-you-seen-this-elf\/\" class=\"more-link\">...continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> \"Have You Seen This Elf?\"<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2981,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[9,6],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/quackingalone.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1391"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/quackingalone.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/quackingalone.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quackingalone.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2981"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quackingalone.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1391"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/quackingalone.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1391\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3576,"href":"https:\/\/quackingalone.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1391\/revisions\/3576"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/quackingalone.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1391"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quackingalone.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1391"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quackingalone.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1391"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}