I’m slow, but I’m not the slowest.  That’s always a comfort. 

Last year, Adam Lambert was amazing on Idol and he lost.  Okay, some of his post-Idol antics made me a wee bit glad that he lost.  But still, the thought remained kicking around in my head until this season. How did Adam lose?  How could he be that good, that far above the others, and still not win the whole thing? 

This season turned out to be deja vu all over again.  There were all the others and then there was Mama Sox.  Just like last year, the judges would periodically slide in a sly comment about her superiority.  Once she was accused of being too certain that she’d win – a charge she protested heartily.  On Tuesday her final songs outclassed Lee’s so easily that she looked like a sure thing.  But then again, so did Adam last year after his final competition performance.

But this year, my feelings were different.  This year, I was hoping that Lee would pull it off, and I cheered when he did.  Last year I just walked away from the finale bummed.  You know what, Simon’s last interviews made me think that he’d had the same transformation as little ole’ me, little Mrs. Nobody from the Redneck Rivera.  (Heck, if I was gonna have something in common with Cowell, couldn’t it have been my bank balance?)

That’s why it took this year to make me understand last year and to possibly predict next season.  Now that I get it, I’ll be able to watch the process happen and chart it in my twisted little brain.  What is it, you ask? 

CINDERELLA DIDN’T START THE STORY GARBED FOR THE BALL AND OUR KIDS AREN’T BORN AS TEENAGERS.  Adam and Crystal started the competition as world class singers.  That’s why they lost.

It doesn’t happen every year and in the years when it doesn’t the world class singer who started the show will wind up with the crown.  But in the years when one of the contestants starts off the season as good, but not great and then starts to grow and change and freakin’ emerge right before our eyes – that’s the contestant to keep your eyeballs on.  That’s the one apt to steal the crown from the singer who started out destined to win. 

Great is only great.  All you can do when you hear somebody take that stage the first time and knock it out of the park is to go, “Wow.  Great.”  There’s nothing for me, as the viewer, to root for, to anticipate.  But “could be great” is an entirely different ballgame.  The contestant who’s unsure of himself, who’s a little shy, and walks out and sings well but doesn’t claim the stage and the audience – that guy or gal has some growing to do.  And he or she will do it right before the eyes of the audience. 

If Cinderella had walked into the story garbed for the ball, readers wouldn’t have cared what happened to her.  So the prince finds her and the slipper fits, so what?  If our kids were born as teenagers, we wouldn’t be all that involved with them.  They’d just pop out as these annoying people who claimed to be entitled to something from us by virtue of the fact that they existed.  There’s a reason that God sends the teenagers-to-be here as wee, little helpless ones who can’t walk or talk.  It’s because God knows that the growing, the becoming, will change us from watchers to participants. 

Last year I never got drawn into the Kris Allen camp.  But this year was different.  This year I started out as a firm Bowersox supporter.  She was good, consistently good and sometimes great.  She looked like a shoe-in.  But then, Lee, the quiet, shy dude who never sparkled much started singing better and better each week.  The judges noticed and started urging him to believe in himself, to believe it and and he could achieve it.  Sure enough, little by little, Lee started to sparkle.

Mama Sox was never bad and I do think she out sang Lee at the finale.  But Crystal was, unfortunately, always good and that leaves very little room for growth.  But Lee had room to grow, room to shine.  So when the judges told Lee to believe in himself and he could be great, America started believing in Lee too.  After all, America is a country founded on hope.

Today, in the darkest days many of us have ever known, when so many of us have lost so much, the one thing we haven’t lost is hope.  We believe we can be great individually and we believe America can be great collectively.  We could believe in all that and so we could cheer for the young man who was growing and becoming right in front of our eyes.  We need something to believe in and root for and Lee gave us that.

If American Idol were ONLY a talent competition, then the best singer should win.  But if it were ONLY a talent show, then viewers wouldn’t vote.  The winner of American Idol is more than a singer.  He or she is also, and perhaps most importantly, a symbol of the country that believes that greatness is a growth process.

That’s why Adam didn’t win last year and it’s why Crystal didn’t win this year.  Both were the best performers of their seasons, but they didn’t – couldn’t – give America what we needed before we’d give them the crown.  This year Lee showed us growth.  He showed us how a dreamer becomes the dream.  He showed us what America is and bolstered our sagging faith in our ability to grab our own brass ring.

Lee won because he risked more to change and grow and achieve.  And America rewards the risk-takers. Our country was built on and exists because of young men and women donning uniforms and risking it all to keep us free and safe and strong.   Lee wasn’t wearing a uniform, but he was wearing his heart and his hopes and his dreams right on his sleeve.

DeWyze was the American dreamer who still believed in the dream. He reminded all of us that we still could – we still should – believe in it too.

‘Tis said that one of the real deal couples on the show will be calling it quits this season.  The cause of the breakup is “a very serious issue” that they can’t get past.  ‘Tis also said that there’s gonna be a new hook up on the show.  And the new hook-up allegedly involves McSteamy reconnecting with his man whore roots. People are speculating that the break up will not involve the dream team (Mer/Der).  But the grist for everyone’s mill has been the same as the grist churning around in mine – Sunshine says the finale will be a game changer for every single character; see links above and this one. 

So, Grey’s fans, this Thursday’s episode – “Hook Line & Sinner” – will be the first new one in several weeks and it will begin the march to the finale.  Now’s the time for all Grey’s fans to strap on the swami hat and commence speculating.  I’ve got mine on and I’m reaching under the sofa for my crystal ball – man that thing is dusty.  

Reading all of the links above and recalling all the other swami prognostications I’ve read, I think the most likely scenario is pretty clear.  But Shonda Sunshine rarely does the predictable, so there’s also room to explore other possibilities, including some grim ones people think she’s ruled out.  I don’t think Sunshine likes boxes, so even if it looks like she’s crawled into one and pulled the lid down, I recommend you check the sides for an escape hatch.  I’m a lawyer by trade (trying to be a professional author, but we’ve all got dreams) and people in my field know that phrasing is critical.  And if you examine what Sunshine actually said, you might find it looks like she meant one thing, but she left herself some wiggle room to mean something else entirely – or nothing at all. 

It looks to me like the most likely break up is Arizona and Callie calling it quits over the baby issue.  McSteamy’s daughter – Sloane – showed up at the end of last episode in the midst of labor.  Promos for this week’s epi show that the baby arrives and the new Mama Sloane, who’s been tossed out of all other free housing, latches back on the the softest touch in town.  And instead of telling his daughter to take responsibility for herself – and her baby if she’s keeping the wee one – and to get a job, Daddy Dearest tells her she and the Sloaneling can move in with him.  So, it could be that Mark getting a baby stirs up all kind of trouble for Calzona.  It sure looks from the promo like Arizona is not happy about the prospect of their friend and neighbor having a permanent reminder for Callie of her maternal dreams.  So, maybe it is Calzona who’s a goner. 

But, maybe not.  Sunshine’s been talking a lot about Meredith going all mother hen.  Mer’s one of the world’s foremost experts in hot and longing looks and she’s seen the ones Owen’s been giving Teddy.  She already gave Owen a talking to, but she hasn’t yet broached the subject to Cristina. And Cristina sure caught enough of those Mer/Der looks to know a whole lot about them herself.  Once she hears from Mer about it, she’s gonna start looking for them.  It’s like looking for a Hardees or a Steak & Shake on a road trip.  First you look, then you give up and eat at Burger King.  Starting with the very next exit, you’re gonna see Hardees everywhere.  So Owen’s been told not to give Teddy those looks.  Having been told not to do it, he’s gonna try hard not to, but soon, it’ll be all he can think of and he won’t be able to stop himself.  Then Cristina is apt to grab Owen and shake his steak so good that he’ll see that the front line has moved to Seattle.  So yeah, Otina is another possibility. 

The NIGHTMARE would be if the dream team went down for the count.  And if McSteamy is the male party to the grubbing to come, can we imagine Mer being the female factor?  This one links the sleeping around to the break up.  One of the commentators who knows what the break up is and involves, says he doesn’t see how the couple in question could get over it.  Well, if the  same lightning bolt struck him a second time, it’d be mighty hard to image Derek being able to get past it.  But how would this happen? 

If Little Grey were to whisper in Mer’s ear about April’s fascination with Derek, then she’d be like Cristina looking for a Hardee’s.  Soon, she’d start seeing them whether they were there or not.  And knowing her own history with Derek, it’d be mighty easy for her to imagine him taking a new protege under his wing.  So Mer might do it to get back for what she imagines is being done to her.  And Mark?  He always wants what Derek has and he already tried to recruit Mer once…  But, hopefully this version of the hook up and break up is actually the least likely. 

Some of the swami hints have said that McSteamy hooks up with one of the new kids on the block.  That scenario could still feed into McSteamy wanting to follow in Derek’s shoes.  Mark might see April as his own little Meredith. Given her crush on Derek, getting April to sleep with Der’s best friend would be a pretty easy sell.    

The other NIGHTMARE scenario would have Derek seeing Meredith in April and having him cheat.  I can’t see Mer forgiving him for that and she might even respond by placing a booty call to Mark.  It’s easy to see the appeal to Der’s ego and the lure of the link to an easier time.  I refuse to see this one as likely at all.

If Mark’s having an affair with one of the new kids, then it could potentially be Arizona.  It’s hard to see that one as especially likely, but the presence of a McSteamy on the prowl is a boon to the writers – from his end, they could make anything work.  Who wouldn’t McSteamy drop his pants for – that’s the better question.

Cristina is not a new character but Teddy is – and what if the swami’s got it a little bit wrong?  What if the new character caused the break up and McSteamy’s fling was with a member of the broken romance?  The characters are  polar opposites but that can sometime make for steamy sex.  How about it, Grey’s fans?  Can anybody see Cristina doing the dirty with Mark? 

The biggest betrayal of all would be if Sunshine brought McDreamy full circle and he did to Mer what got done to him.  Imagine the shock waves to every single character – the fundamental game changing nature – of a Cristina/Derek hook up.  I know, the mind does not want to go there, but Sunshine does like going full circle.  We weren’t involved with the characters when Mark and Addison betrayed Derek.  But we’d sure enough see some flashbacks and be way involved if Derek and Christina betrayed Meredith.  Along the same vein, while we’re mentioning things that make you nauseous, the possibility of a Derek/Lexie hook up would have a similar bombshell effect and Derek was initially attracted to Lexie in the bar where we’ve never really seen sparks with Cristina. But Cristina would be the full circle choice and that would be the bigger betrayal.   Next season would be like the fall out after a nuclear war.  One of the persons affected most would be Derek, who’d have to examine how he grew into a person who could do such a thing.  Giving the Chief’s job back would be a natural response.   

There are other new characters, of course, but none of them has been too involved with any main story lines.  Mercy Wester, Reed, could hook up with McSteamy sure enough, but I can’t see that causing anyone too much trauma.  There are a couple of male doctors and McSteamy on the down low would be interesting, but it’d be a mighty tough sell even for the Grey’s writers.  Mind you, I don’t rule out their trying to toss a curve ball like that one.  There are other issues to consider that no one has focused on – like what about the Chief?  What will be happening with him?  And Bailey, what will she be getting up to?  A link up between those two would also, in its own way, recall the early days of Mer/Der, and whatever Sunshine has on the plate for the Chief and Bailey may be focused elsewhere. But who knows?

Let’s ponder the game changer and see what clues we pick up in the next couple of epi’s.  And if all the tension and drama leaves you with a Grey’s flavored appetite that an hour a week can’t fill, check out Griffin’s Law.  Pick it up and see if you find in Griffin’s the spirit of Grey’s that inspired the story.  The characters are different, the complications are different and the setting is nothing like Seattle Grace, unless you imagine the hospital as a law school.  The world of Griffin’s is mine rather than Sunshine’s but I did try to channel her karma while I wrote the story!

As to Grey’s and attempts to channel Sunshine, I just hope the Game Changer finale remembers how much Grey’s owes to its viewers.  After the season that ended with Cristina’s failed wedding, and Meredith and Derek’s failed relationship, I think a lot of Grey’s viewers spent the summer in a funk.  This time, no matter how the game changes, I hope Shonda doesn’t forget to sprinkle it with hope.

Yeah, yeah, I know that when Ellen Pompeo was pregnant she and Patrick Dempsey sat down with Shonda Sunshine and suggested that Sunshine write the blessed event into the show. And yeah, I realize that Sunshine said no.  I’ve heard that she’s hinted/said/implied (take your pick) that there wouldn’t be a McBaby.  But I’ve heard other things too, and Sunshine does like to keep the fans guessing. 

Recently, on the March 25th edition of the Ausiello Files, Sunshine did a guest blog post about this season’s finale.  And she who created the McDreamy world says that it’s “the kind of finale that changes everything.”  She called it a “GAME. CHANGER.”  Emphasis and punctuation – Shonda’s.   

Anybody who’s ever given birth knows that one of those tiny little bundles of joy changes everything.  Everything.  A little babyfish gives a lot, but it takes a lot too.  It takes your schedule and your sleep.  America’s favorite couple would find that their McBaby would take away their ability to stop by Joe’s for a drink.  No more deciding at the last minute to run out and have a nice dinner.   A little meal becomes a big production requiring either planning (a well-screened sitter) or packing (lots of baby gear) along with your patience and diplomacy (for fellow diners who don’t find a whining infant soothing).  And quick, romantic little weekend getaways?  Gone baby, gone. 

But you know what?  Here’s a little secret that seems to have escaped the entire TV drama community – LIFE DOESN’T END WITH PARENTHOOD. 

A lot of a couple’s old way of life may end, but if they make the transition smoothly, then a new way of life, a better and more stable way of life, is just beginning.  But any couple making the change is gonna have a few little bumps along the way.  Mer/Der?  Nothing has come easy to those two and “the couple” growing into “the family” would require them to scale the Everest of challenges and cross the Grand Canyon of despair, of temptations, of lures to the dark side.  But it would be a logical, a natural next step.

I don’t think any television drama has dealt well with a principal couple becoming parents.  But in the traumas and triumphs of that task, Sunshine could soar.  With a busy surgeon and hospital administrator, there are problems of schedules and egos.  How could each of them hold onto a piece of themselves?  What happens when they’re both dealing with last minute emergencies?  Lately, Derek’s fires have been administrative. Mer’s would be matters of life and death, of being in the midst of some surgery she couldn’t walk away from without costing someone their life.  That would require Der to surrender his male ego and be the one to walk away from the meeting to get back to the little one.  It would make Der jealous of Mer being in that surgery because at heart, Der’s a surgeon, not a desk jockey.  And a world class surgeon having to act like the “little man” would make Der prone to bask in the tempting adoration of an assistant with a big old crush, especially, since that assistant would remind him of the past.  It would remind him of the old Mer/Der days when he was still the man he knew. 

He’d accuse Mer of turning into her mother.  And no matter how much Mer tried, that vision would always be in her head.  The vision of herself becoming the best at what she did and the worst at what she was.  Even if Der’s temptation led to infidelity, Mer wouldn’t walk away.  Even if Mer crossed the line herself, she wouldn’t walk away.  After all, her mother walked away.

So a baby would be a Game Changer for Mer/Der sure enough.  But a pregnancy would also be a Game Changer.  A troubled pregnancy would explain why Shonda said no to writing Ellen’s real-life pregnancy into the show.  Sunshine would never ask a healthy pregnant woman to court bad karma by playing an unhealthy pregnant woman. 

First, just imagine a pregnant Mer.  She’s been a little too even-keeled, happy and whole lately now, hasn’t she?  What happened to the dark, twisted lass we all loved?  We want Mer happy, we just didn’t want her to lose everything that made so many of us identify with her, to find her real.  Well, all the moods and hormones of pregnancy would bring back a twistier Mer than we have (or Derek has) ever seen.  And Mer with a problem pregnancy that risked her life?  DRAMA. CONFLICT.

Both of the couple would fight for their baby.  But when the risks became too high, Derek would choose Meredith.  She’d never choose herself.  Not after her Mama chose herself over and over.  No, Mer would choose the baby.  In a life or death showdown, the Post-It wedding wouldn’t count to the Courts.  The choice of Mer’s life or her baby’s would be in Mer’s person’s hands – Christina.  And she’d normally choose Mer, sure enough.  But she and Mer would have had many long and angst-filled conversations on the subject. So Christina might make the choice Mer wanted her to make, or at least, to be mightily tempted to make that choice. 

And a troubled Mer pregnancy could well bring a number of fine crossover opportunities with Private Practice.  Addision here, stirring up the pot.  Der in LA with old friends and an old lover. 

So a baby would be a real Game Changer as would a pregnancy.  Although I mostly concern myself with Mer/Der, I’d throw in a note to speculate about McSteamy impregnanting Callie (or Arizona – even more interesting) and then the interesting complications that would pose for Calzona.  And Sunshine mentioned Teddy fighting for her job.  How would Burke’s return rock Seattle Grace?  The complications for Christina, Owen, and the challenge of Burke trying to work under McDreamy.  Imagine.

While we’re imagining, there’s another Game Changing complication that was almost slipped under the radar this week.  Derek’s assistant Mercy Wester – April, I think – developed an oh-so-obvious crush on him this week.  It’s been heading at us for a while, ya know.  And this week, it arrived.  And arrived far too quietly.  Maybe Sunshine doesn’t want us to focus on it?  She likes to surprise with her finales. 

Well April has NEVER impressed me as the most stable gymnast on the balance beam.  Let’s say that she wants Mer’s place.  Let’s say her teetering sanity takes a tumble…. How could she get Mer’s place?  She could get Mer out of the way.  What an easy solution for a doctor in a hospital with access to a treasure trove of lovely drugs.  She slips Mer something in her coffee, which Mer would drink unless her sister clues her in about April’s crush.  Then we have a last scene of Mer clutching her throat, losing her heartbeat, or gasping for breath as she reaches out for the nearby April, only to have April shake her off, make a few pithy comments about closets being good for things other than grubbing sessions with Derek. April would walk out and close the door. Mer would lie on the floor, at death’s door, while the hospital walked by outside.  

The latter scenario would set up a beginning of the season where everyone would be playing Dr. House, trying to figure out who did it, how they did it and how to cure it.  Lots of angst for Little Grey for not telling about the crush.  Lots of angst for Christina for not noticing it herself.  Lots of angst for Derek for not seeing what was right in front of him.  And still, the potential life/death struggle and powerplay between Derek, the post-it hubby, and Christina, the legal “person.”

How will the season play out and how will the game change?  Sunshine may have tossed out the baby talk as a real clue or as a lemming for us to chase while we miss the dawn of madness in the Mercy Wester’s eyes.  Holy Criminal Minds, Batman!

Either way, Sunshine promises the kind of finale that changes everything.  And part of those changes surely seem to be heading towards Mer/Der.  That can only mean one thing.

Sunshine’s gonna get us scooted up to the edge of our seats.  And she’s gonna keep us there all summer.

After years of waiting in the wings, Derek staged a coup and got the job he’d come West to take.   Richard’s fall off the wagon might have justified Derek’s sneak attack if only McDreamy hadn’t traded on inside information from the love of his life to pull it off.  In this episode, Richard sat in a conference room for hours, torn between whether to sign one document that gave up his job and medical license permanently, and another that committed to going into rehab and coming out to resume power.  What had Richard torn was the rehab part – he didn’t want to give up drinking b/c it was all he had left.  Finally though, Richard signed and headed to rehab and Derek got ready to take charge.  By the time Richard returns, there may be a battle, but I bet Derek will have learned that power ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.

What got the little hamsters running around the creaky wheel in my head was Derek’s motivational speech to the employees.  He said he was starting with a clean slate.  The big, take charge types think they control the slate.  I’m editing the new one that I’ll post soon (when my edit and hubby’s cover get finished), and it’s called Griffin’s Law.  (Think – Grey’s Anatomy meets The Paper Chase)  There’s a Professor in Griffin’s named Grey who like Derek, thinks he runs his slate.   They’re both wrong of course.  Worrying about the slate and the state of the slate runs them.  There’s no door in life allowing Derek, Grey or any of us to sweep out the dirt. 

The dirt hangs around and the only way to get it off the slate is to sweep it under the rug.  If you do that, you create big bumps and bulges and eventually, no matter how careful you are, you’re gonna trip over one of them.  Dirt loses its power if you leave it out in the open and walk over it on your way to the future.  No one’s slate is clean because life is dirty.  Women can deal with the dirt, acknowledge the dirt and move on.  Men think they can rule the dirt, can control it by brute force or by fiat of will.  Men think they can say the slate is clean and therefore it is.  Men will be men and they will turn everything into a power play. 

In this episode, all the women let the men hold the slates and think they controlled them.  Take the mighty Christina Yang for example.  Owen felt belittled by Christina “giving” him to Teddy.  So in this epi, Christina let Owen dictate terms and when Teddy paged Yang for a big surgery, Owen told her not to answer the page – and she didn’t.  Even the Nazi surrendered her slate.  Bailey set off on a Nazi rant at Dr. Feel Good, the anaesthesiologist, after a patient woke up mid surgery.  But by the end of the epi, Bailey let Feel Good be in on surgery round two and she even explained herself to the man.  On the Mark/Lexi front, McSteamy had moved in a previously unknown and pregnant adult daughter and declared that he and Lexi would raise the girl.  When Lexi rebelled against raising a girl who was about her age and broke up with Mark, he reacted in typical McSteamy fashion by going off to have some rowdy sex with Addison.  And that was just fine and dandy and a thing Lexi was to forgive and forget, but when he found out that Lexi had done the same thing – sleeping with Karev- he made Lexi pay for it for the whole epi.  McSteamy gave Lexi the silent treatment and by the end had her running off an elevator in tears, ceding him the field and giving him his way.

How about the “post it” power couple, my favs, Mer/Der?  In this one, Mer quietly went along with the program, letting Derek play Chief.  She even surrendered her schedule to his, and at the end of the epi we saw the big man hard at work in his office.  The faithful little woman sat across from his desk, reading a magazine. 

I think Shonda Sunshine was setting up a lesson for the men that power and control are as empty and illusory as those clean slates.  If the men want power and the women let them think they have it, then who is really in control?  It’s just like the dirt.  The dirt of the past will always be there.  You can sweep it under the rug to give yourself a clean slate and risk tripping over the bumps or bulges. Or you can rearrange the dirt so it’s not an obstacle between yourself and your future.

But Derek thinks he wants power and now, he thinks he’s got it.  Mer won’t play the “little woman” for long because that’s not who she is.  Mer won’t quietly go to dinners and banquets when she could be in surgery or having a  drink with her friends.  Mer won’t stand by silently and let Der discipline her friends for a mistake that most of them have made but didn’t get caught for.  In short, Mer will call Der out and so will the board.  Whether or not a “post it” marriage suits the two of them, it won’t suit the suits.  I can foresee an epi down the road where the suits decide to overlook some act of Mer’s because she’s not really Der’s wife.  And I can see them putting the question to him, making him want to legalize the union.  THEN I see Mer refusing, not b/c she doesn’t want to walk down the aisle with Der, but because she only wants to do it for the right reasons.

In Griffin’s Law, my soon to be pubbed book, Grey is a law school professor and Shea is his student.  Grey thinks he has all the power and Shea lets him think so, until he goes too far.  That’s the problem with power.  It’s a potent cocktail that makes all the lines fuzzy.  Drink too much of it and you become too full of yourself, too convinced that your rules are THE rules. 

I think Derek is gonna drink too much of the me/my juice and spend too much time running around worrying about the state of his slate.  All that dirt under the rug will trip him up and leave him facing a choice that will decide his future, Mer’s future and the fate of the hospital.  He came West for power and found love instead.  Power doesn’t allow for a union of equals and true love won’t allow for anything else.

I see a clash coming that even McDreamy’s magic wand won’t fix.

So a while back Stephanie Meyer started releasing books in her Twilight series.   It’s a romance series and I write romance.  Lord knows, I read romance and I’ve surely been a reader of the genre for much longer than I’ve been a writer.  And I heard good things about these books everywhere.  But never once was I tempted to pick one up.  They weren’t written for me, now were they? 

My eldest son read the books and he flat out loves them.  Keep in mind, Zack doesn’t read romance.  The boy refuses to read anything I write and that’s natural enough – him reading my books would make me a wee bit antsy too.  But my eldest won’t even read this blog.  I’ve given him fair warning that from time to time I write about him, but still, he won’t read it.  Where does he get such stubbornness from? 

Okay, okay, maybe Zack and his Mom have a thing or two in common.

But I wish I’d been smarter, sooner and realized that these books could be another bridge between our worlds.  Because when Zack likes something, he really, really likes it.  He owns hardcover editions of all the books and he takes them everywhere.  They are big, bulky books and the boy won’t even take Amtrak home from college unless he packs the whole series.  Needless to say, he’s seen both of the movies, owns the original.  He packed it and brought it home with him over Christmas.

I guess Mr. Brick was too busy to bash me over the head at the time because the holiday came and went without the bonding moment that might have been.  But Zack’s been back in Orlando for the Spring Semester for a couple of weeks now and the “Mommy misses her baby” blues have kicked in.  So, last night, when I was flipping through the guide, I saw that Showtime was premiering the Twilight movie.  I decided to watch a few minutes of it before I switched to something else.  That way, I could email Zack that his Mom saw a little bit of Twilight. 

So I turned on the move and I soon forgot all about that few minutes.  I did email Zack after about half an hour to demand that he tell me if the movie had a happy ending.  My family knows very well that I won’t read, write or watch a romance that doesn’t have a happy ending.  Life is too short to be sad.  Zack emailed back and said as follows: 

It does have a happy ending, don’t worry- all the twilight books and movies do. Stephanie Meyer comes from the same school of romance you do. … (or a similar one, anyway. )

The comment got me thinking – my boy is as smart as they come.  I realized he was right.  About some really big things, he was right.  My work does share some similarities with that series.  One of the biggest things my books have in common with Twilight is the element of fate, destiny, of lovers who are meant to love.  

It’s not a slow, building attraction.  It’s not kindling a fire until it burns hot.  It’s spontaneous combustion. You meet the one you were born to love and you have to overcome whatever separates you because you can’t go one without them.  You’re no longer whole if you’re alone. 

That sort of force makes you overlook age differences (E-mail Enticement), being raised as siblings (Brotherly Love) or being a vampire or mortal (Twilight).  That sort of bond makes you overcome past mistakes like real infidelity (A Faerie Fated Forever), a separation plot disguised as infidelity (A Golden Forever), or an engagement to another woman (A Sixth Sense Of Forever).  It creates the sort of desperate yearning for a union that’ll keep me reading or writing all the way to the end.

Lots of people like to read or write romances about building a relationship, building feelings slowly.  I’ve read and enjoyed some of those books. But when I try to write one, the story refuses to come together for me.  I find the blend of destiny and desire to be essential ingredients for a great romance.  And yes, all of my preconceived prejudices aside, I found the Twilight story as told through the movie to be a great romance. 

But invariably, movies are restricted by time and the attention span of the audience.  So now, I guess I’ll have to buy the book to read the full story.  Thank God for my new e-reader.  It means I won’t have to lug around that big book.  It means that if I have my purse with me (and trust me, I do), that I’ve got the book with me. 

So Ms. Meyer, I look forward to reading and experiencing your complete story.  I give you mad props for doing such a good job of character crafting that you had me yearning for Edward to take a big bite of Bella.  Yeah, just like Grey’s of a few years ago had me rooting for infidelity, Twilight had me cheering for the vampires. 

Take destiny, add a hefty dose of desire and guarantee a happy ending.  That recipe inspires me as a writer and lures me as a reader. Now Ms. Meyer has shown me that the recipe, when crafted with great writing, is timeless.

To put you in the festive mood, I am posting a video from my BFF Mr. Brick that he and I did a couple of years ago (warning, may not be suitable for children). Enjoy, and…

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

They’ll pull up pictures of the act, watch one internet video after another showing a different set of people doing similar things.  A whole genre of movies exists to cater to the male desire to watch generously endowed females wiggle, squirm, slither and squeal in high-pitched tones as the man gives it to her good.  A few scenes later, the same man – we’ll call him Dick - gives it to three different women (at the same time) and they enjoy it every bit as much as the first piece he left behind. 

Women like to read about how Dick discovers Jane – the woman who makes everything in the bedroom so different that he’ll change the way he lives after the orgasm’s over. 

Women want to see Dick meet Jane, figure out that Jane’s going to be different, and watch Dick try to walk away from Jane.  Women want to see Jane teach Dick that she’s not so easy to leave.  Women want Dick and Jane to struggle with any of a million different dilemmas before both of them realize that it’s love and that’s worth any cost.  Women want to see Dick learn that the groans won’t always sound better coming from a new mouth.  By the Great Green Toad Frog, women want to see Dick find the one woman he won’t – can’t – leave.   

Romance novels aren’t about When Dick Leapt Jane; they’re about When Dick Kept Jane. That’s a fundamental difference in the way men and women see sex.  And it’s the lesson that Alan Elsner is too MALE to learn.  It’s why Mr. Elsner got it wrong in the piece he wrote for The Huffington Post.  He’s written a new book and because it has the word romance in the title, he said he was often asked if he’d written a romance novel.  The piece is about what he discovered from checking out from the library – and ALLEGEDLY reading – a stack of recent romances.

The real thrust of Mr. Elsner’s piece is a secret he reveals in the opening paragraph.  He says that when people asked him if he’d written a romance novel, HIS INSTINCTIVE REACTION WAS NO.  Then he says he hadn’t read romance fiction “for many years” so he checked out a stack from his library to read and investigate.  Guess what?  I know, you’re on the edge of your seat to discover whether he liked the novels or not.

No, you’re not on the edge of your seat at all, are you?  Because you’re all smart enough to guess that he’s a man so his investigation proved that he was right all along.  He hadn’t written a romance novel.  He’d never write a romance novel.  Because romance novels – unlike his book – have a predictable script and include too many graphic descriptions of sex.  He concludes, in damnably patronizing  fashion, that romances are “escapist fiction” and that women have ”as much right to enjoy pornography packaged to their liking as men.” 

Well, thank you very much Mr. Elsner.  Women appreciate your being gracious enough to recognize that we have rights -just like men do – imagine that!  But you can keep the “right” to enjoy pornography packaged in any form or fashion.  I’ll just pat Alan on the head and say, “Poor thing, he’s just a victim of his gender.”   Mr. Elsner read romance novels and DIDN’T GET what made them romantic. 

Today’s romances don’t generally stop at the bedroom door.  Once upon a time, on I Love Lucy, Lucy and Desi slept in separate beds.  Today, Meredith and Derek on Grey’s Anatomy don’t just sleep in the same bed, viewers get to watch while they celebrate their relationship in that bed.  Mr. Elsner points out that Jane Austen’s Elizabeth and Darcy shared a physical attraction but the reader doesn’t see them having sex.  Elsner says that in Pride and Prejudice “the real romance takes place in their heads.”  He says that modern romance makes a mistake in opening the bedroom door.  Personally, I’m guessing that if Ms. Austen wrote today, she’d open that door too.

 Elsner says that the sex scenes in romances are “pretty much all alike” and rely on “an unfortunate mix of strained metaphors and graphic anatomical detail.”  After all, Elsner claims, one stiff nipple is pretty much like another” and this engorged penis is pretty much like that one.  I’m not at all surprised that a man, like poor Mr. Elsner, would see it that way.  That’s why internet and movie porn exist, after all – for men who see sex as serving a physical purpose like pissing.  And one toilet is pretty much like another – right?

In romance novels many authors will show the hero frolicking with other women – before he meets the heroine.  That shows the hero as a typical man, finding one bout of grabbing and growling pretty much like another.  What Mr. Elsner, the poor thing, misses, is that sex between the hero and the heroine shows the difference between random sex and sex that expresses love.  Alan can’t see past the stiff nipple or the engorged penis, but if he could, he’d see that sex in romance novels is about how the hero and heroine got there and it’s about what this stiff nipple means to her and how much more this engorged penis matters to him.  This act matters more because they matter more to each other. 

And Elsner claims that in romance novels “love is expressed through sex and only sex.”  How sad that Alan read a stack of romances and couldn’t far enough get past the male preconceptions about peaked nipples and hard ons to see that the most romantic acts in the book didn’t occur in the bedroom.  A former rogue turning down a trip to the bordello with his old running buddies is romantic.  A committed bachelor who looks at a room full of ladies and sees only one is romantic.  A man’s gut-churning desire to beat his former cohort in debauch bloody for dancing with one certain lady is romantic.  A rake known to appreciate the swell of a bosom yelling at the heroine for wearing a low cut gown is romantic.  Poor Mr. Elsner sees none of that.   

Perhaps it’s just as well that Mr. Elsner doesn’t write about sex.  Men don’t do it well because they dwell where their mind sticks – on descriptions of the physical.  I guess that explains why the author who won the seventeenth annual Literary Review’s “Bad Sex In Fiction” award is a MAN. The winner, Jonathan Littell for The Kindly Ones, compares a woman’s vulva to a Gorgon’s head and a “Cyclops whose single eye never blinks.” If you read the description, you’ll see that it describes the act, but never the emotions or the feelings.  The passage almost denies the woman any personhood. It treats her like an object, and portrays her the same way that porno pictures, video or movies portray, or rather don’t portray,  women. 

 Elsner says he doesn’t write romance and he doesn’t write sex because he’s more interested in love  “and love takes place in the mind where it has to fight for its existence against all of the other challenges presented by life.”  Well, thank the Lord that Mr. Elsner doesn’t write romance.  He can’t even identify the right organ.  He thinks love springs from the mind.  If that were the case, then no one would love.

Love is not a choice reached through logic.  It is abandoning logic to follow the heart.  It obeys the soul rather than the limiting bonds of reason.  Who would ever decide to fall in love?  Who would voluntarily surrender their sense of self, their very happiness and give it over to the keeping of another?  If love were about the mind and logic and reason, it would cease to exist. 

Romance novels are about the triumph of the heart over the mind.  Perhaps that’s why they’re best written by women who generally take more emotional risks than their male counterparts.  Elsner says that romance novels do a disservice to other writers who want to tell a “real love story” about “real people grappling with real dilemmas.”  Poor Mr. Elsner misses the point of romance novels.  The real dilemma at the heart of every romance is the surrender of the mind to the heart that changes ”me” to ”we.”  And I bet that if Jane Austen were writing today she wouldn’t just know that, she would show it, inside and outside the bedroom.

If you want to watch how Dick Leaps Jane, then play a porno movie or read a “love story” by a male author who is courageous enough (or foolish enough) to write descriptions of sex.  If you want to know why Dick Keeps Jane, then read a romance novel written by a woman who understands that everyone deserves happy endings.

Who set the theme?  Why, it was Lexie’s question to Callie:  “How gay are you?”  Don’t forget, Callie had been wandering around in states of half dress right in front of Lexie’s beau Mark.  Callie even darted in to speak to Mark while he was wearing nothing but steam from his shower.  So Lexie put the question to Callie who could have answered it straight out, proclaiming herself a lesbian and any future romantic escapades with McSteamy impossible.  She didn’t do that.  Instead, she said Mark didn’t see her boobs anymore and that meant he was committed to Lexie. 

Ahmm,  yeah, right.  So now, Lexie must measure the status of her thing/fling with McSteamy by checking the degree of his boob blindness.  Can he see other boobs today?  Some boobs?  All boobs?  No boobs?    He’s only as into her as he thinks he is.  So she should watch out for the cry - Boobs ahoy!

The theme reared it’s entertaining noggin again with the marriage issue.  How married are you?  Alex kept pointing out that Mer/Der were not actually married.  The couple looked at him like, you poor deluded fool you.  This isn’t reality.  It’s reality, Grey’s style.  And in Sunshine’s world,  you’re only as married as you think you are.  Legally wed Alex/Izzie aren’t nearly as married as post it wed Mer/Der.  The McDreamy duo have been consummating their union all over the place while the McDesperates haven’t consummated anything.  Der tosses the trailer keys to Izzie/Alex but they can’t even get down and dirty in the Love Shack with a view.  Based on backgrounds, the McDesperates should feel right at home in the trailer.  Want to bet that Izzie throws that act of kindness back in Mer’s face with a jab about Mer thinking Izzie doesn’t deserve anything better? 

Meanwhile, the chief faces a how employed are you dilemma.  Webber spends most of the episode attacking Der, the messenger who brought him the news of his possible impending exit and gave him time to plot a strategy.  He’s too busy resenting Der to plot anything until he gets creamed by a car.  Then, in the way of managers everywhere, he turns the tables on the staff.  Now they all face the question.  In the wake of the merger, how employed is anybody at Seattle Grace? 

Owen/Christina face the how disturbed are you question.  At the beginning of the episode Owen’s convinced he’s too batty to grub.  Christina thinks the solution lies between the sheets but by the end she’s drinking the Kool Aid, or at least pretending to.  Owen decides he’s not too closed off to talk and by the time we see him and Christina bantering on the shrink’s sofa we know that they’re ready for other uses of that couch. 

One of the MOST interesting things Shonda Sunshine tossed on the waters was the encounter between Arizona and McDreamy.  He’s the knight who charges to the rescue of her child patient with a mysterious disorder.  While they investigate and diagnose the problem, Arizona looks at him and says she now understands the nickname – she gets it and she looks like she wants to get it up close and personal.  Oh, she says she’s heard he’s newly married and he says he is, but the pair connect over the operating room table. 

Wait a minute – he’s married and she’s a lesbian, right?  Well, we harken back to Callie’s earlier non-answer to Lexie’s question.  Perhaps Sunshine’s gonna toss out a real gristly connection this season.  If you’re only as gay as you think you are, then Arizona’s starry-eyed and all but drooling looks at the McDreamy one could make for an interesting triangle until Mer returns from maternity leave and the triangle becomes a square.  After all, if Der has a real relationship with Mer, he’ll be looking for hero-worship from another source.  Arizona surely looked like she was being dangled as protege bait, despite her being a pediatrician and despite her supposed sexual orientation.

In the history of the characters, Arizona came in as the partner with the confirmed orientation and it was Callie’s that was in question.  But if Der’s only as married as he feels and Arizona is only as gay as she feels, then there’s a lot of wiggle room.  And those over the table glances looked a lot like the mismatched ones were thinking about wiggling.  Temptation ahoy!

Given the hospital merger, there are lots of new folks coming in to challenge the status quo.  So this season, it seems the entire staff will face the questions of who they are and how much of who they are can they – or do they want to- keep.  By the time we’re at the closing episode of season 6, I imagine that many characters we’ve known and loved for years may be acting in brand new ways.  Change can stir the pot and create new complications and conundrums, but I hope the writers recall that the viewers may not be happy with measures that are too radical.

Economic reality hitting Seattle Grace may not be a good thing. In today’s wishy-washy world, real life presents enough change for many of us.  Most of all, Shonda Sunshine and her talented minions should recall that when reality bites, our TV shows shouldn’t.

We need to believe in happy endings now more than ever.

 His death was tragic. Having a creative force like his snuffed out so quickly, so needlessly has deprived the world of years of music and magic.  So while it’s certainly his tragedy, his family’s tragedy, it’s also a loss for everyone who ever turned on a radio or downloaded music.  In the wake of the sudden loss there were many retrospectives and tributes.

As one of those tributes Fox re-broadcast the first American Idol finalist show of this season featuring the top 13 performing Michael Jackson songs.  I watch American Idol and enjoy seeing the group working and growing into music professionals.  It’s always fun to see someone working to make their dream come true.  But I’d forgotten about that MJ show because, at the time, it was just another show.  Too bad it wasn’t done later in the season with the gloved one giving the finalists performance critiques and suggestions. 

My favorite contestant of this past season was Adam Lambert.  We all recall that he finished second.  My only explanation for that is that Kris Allen was everyman — the one more like the average American watching on the sofa at home.  Adam has too much creative force to be contained or labeled in any one genre or tradition.  Adam will never be anyone’s everyman — but neither is Elton John and, of course, neither was Michael Jackson. 

As one of the last performances of the show, Adam Lambert did MJ’s “Black or White.”  Adam nailed it, standing out from the others like Sir Elton at a High School talent contest.  His performance impressed the judges too, including Simon Cowell, the one we love to hate and hate to love.  Simon’s comments made me think and inspired this post.  Simon said Adam nailed it because (and I’m paraphrasing here because I didn’t watch the episode with pen in hand) - To make a MJ song work , a performer has to be totally comfortable on stage, and he has to perform the song like Michael – over the top.

Why did that resonate with me? When Adam and MJ perform, they do it over the top.  When I write romance, I write it over the top.  For a writer or performer to succeed, he or she has to do it the way it comes naturally.  If Kris Allen tried to perform MJ over the top, it wouldn’t work for him at all.  It worked for Lambert because that’s how his art speaks to him.  It’s the same for a romance novelist.  You can only write romance over the top and have it carry the reader along if that’s how the story and the characters speak to the writer.  I understand MJ’s approach to music because I know it must have come as naturally to him as my stories come to me. 

I write romance over the top, bigger than life, because that’s how the characters in my books insist on behaving.  Does my over the top style communicate to readers?  I had a comment on Amazon from a lovely lady who’d read A Faerie Fated Forever.  She said the book was written over the top but she hadn’t been able to put it down.  Over the top done right will take the reader out of this reality and into one where love is instant, lust is imminent, seduction is inevitable and happily ever after is not just possible and plausable – it’s necessary. 

With Michael, his song lyrics were intense, almost driven.  His performances took that intensity, that drive, and multiplied them many times over.  The way he acted, sang, danced and performed carried the songs over the top and took his audience along for the ride.  Other artists performing those songs, save for the rare exception like Adam Lambert, generally come off like glass trying to imitate a diamond.  Not many performers, even very polished singers who’ve sold in the multiple millions, could do Michael and have it come off as a tribute instead of a poor imitation.  I’d love to see Elton John and Cher performing some Michael Jackson tunes,  separately and together as a duet.  I’ll bet you a re-fried frog that would be a tribute that carried the soul, the spirit and the vibrance of MJ.

Over the top can, too often, come across as parody.  It will only capture and carry the audience if it first captured and inspired the writer or artist.  As Simon commented on Adam’s performance, it has to be comfortable before it can be convincing.  When it’s done right, the view from over the top can change the way readers and audiences view parts of their lives long after the last word or the last note.  Who could experience MJ performing Man In The Mirror without examining their own choices and actions? 

I’ll never be the MJ of the literary world.  His shoes are too big, his legacy too inspiring for anyone to attempt to claim.  But if you enjoy MJ’s music, perhaps you’d enjoy some of the work of a romance novelist who writes over the top.  Brotherly Love, A Faerie Fated Forever, A Golden Forever- and my soon to be released A Sixth Sense of Forever are all over the top historicals, and E-mail Enticement is a bigger than life contemporary.  If you enjoy Michael Jackson’s music, you might find a bit of that same spirit in my writing. 

Over the top takes reality to the max.  Then, it takes it further.  It makes extreme seem normal.  In today’s world where reality is too often bad news, where too many talented folks have lost their livlihoods and must re-invent themselves to survive, over the top can be both inspiration and escape. 

Put on a MJ album and pick up an over the top romance and life can look a little brighter, goals can seem more achievable.  If you take it over the top, there is nothing you can’t do, be or accomplish.  Taking it over the top has never been harder than now when so much negativity and hardship surrounds us all.  Did some of that affect MJ as he rehearsed for his London performances?  Did the thought of trying to carry with him over the top so many folks that were so heavy with loss stress MJ beyond bearing? 

Not that there would ever have been a good time, but this was a particularly bad time to lose Michael.  He was an American original and we are lucky that his legacy lives on. 

Romance novels weren’t Michael’s medium, but if they had been, I think he’d have written them a lot like mine, but better of course.  If you’re a MJ fan, you might check out some romance novels that will take you over the top. 

Michael Jackson, I thank you for your musical legacy.  It will show many generations to come the view from over the top. MJ, Rest in Peace, at least for a bit, before you get ready for your duet with Elvis.

As you surely know, instead of making a trip to City Hall on a day when two friends’ lives hung in the balance  - even if they didn’t know about George yet – Mer/Der decided to get married by writing vows on a post-it note. Mer had suggested the quick trip to City Hall because she couldn’t live another day without being married to Der.  He agreed, but later, it was Derek who came up with the idea that they’d write down the vows they wanted to make to each other on a post it note.  Then, he said, they’d be married.

They decided to vow:  (1) they would love each other even when they hated each other; (2) no one could leave or run away; and (3) they’d take care of each other when they were old and senile.  Kiss and tender moment and they left and proclaimed themselves married.  But of course, they aren’t. I’m sitting in South Carolina where we have common law marriage where they could proclaim themselves publicly married and make it so.  Grey’s is situated in the state of Washington where there is no such thing.  Mer and Der proclaiming themselves married does not make it so.

In an interesting interview with Ausiello of TV Guide, Shonda  Rhimes says that the post it wedding “will have big reverberations next season.”  Now there, romance fans, is a REST OF THE STORY CHALLENGE. 

Anytime a man you want to marry suggests a post-it wedding, you should worry.  There are lots of shoes left to drop here. One is what they didn’t vow – fidelity.  If Izzie and George do go off into the great beyond, likely more doctors will be brought into the mix.  They’d provide potential romantic threats for Mer/Der’s unorthodox coupling.  There’s the nurse Der slept with a couple of times – what if she was pregnant?  There’s Der’s ex off on another show that lots of folks think should return to this one.  On Private Practice, Addison has been flirting with a romance with a married man.  What if she returns to Seattle determined to get her man back and give marriage another try?  In real life, Ellen Pompeo is pregnant and if her character gets pregnant, there would be a lot of social pressure for a wedding and some issues for the couple to deal with like, whose last name would the baby have.  There will surely be pressure from staff and friends to make the marriage real which is likely to cause Mer to bow up, refuse and stir the pot some more.  Little issues, like last names on medical licenses loom as well.  What if there’s another lawsuit or a trial with the one filed last season?  Mer couldn’t claim marital privilege based on a post-it wedding. 

How would I write the rest of the story?  Der’s Mom gave the couple her seal of approval and even passed along the engagement ring she’d never allowed Addison to wear.  But Mer (which I just do not find realistic) proclaims herself not a ring kind of gal. She’s not wearing the precious heirloom.  Der’s sisters don’t like Mer anyway and once they find out she’s not even wearing the ring – they may change Mom’s mind too.  Implications?  Obvious and many.  The family may bring in some of Der’s old girlfriends.  They may conspire to show Mer in a bad light.  They may push Der to demand a formal wedding which Mer’s decided she doesn’t want because they’re already married.  I suspect the social pressure from the hospital will play a part along with some snide comments from Mark.  Insecurity on both sides will rear its ugly head because they don’t really have papers on each other.  If Mer won’t wear an engagement ring, will either she or Der wear a wedding ring?  That’s bound to cause some internal friction between the couple.  I can see Der not telling his family about the “wedding” and Mer not understanding.  I can imagine his family’s reaction when he does tell them.  Der’s family is much more traditional.  A post it wedding?  Get real.  Clearly, they would say, he staged the farce because deep down, he didn’t want to marry her at all.  Deep down, they’d say, he still considers himself wed to Addison, or wed not at all.     

Where’s it all headed?  One possibility is that Mer will be pregnant on the show and it won’t be a stable pregnancy – which would fit the character.  The medical challenges might bring Addison in for a consult and possibly even some of the temptation for Der I was discussing earlier.  Reunion sex is even a possibility given that a pregnant Mer would be moodier than a non-pregnant Mer and Der would likely spend most of his time reminding himself he promised to love her even if he hated her.  If Der’s not the husband then Mer would call the shots with treatment.  And if it culminated in a life or death decision, then Der wouldn’t have any legal right to tell the medical team to save Mer before the baby.  The one with the legal right to call the shots would be the next of kin, Mer’s sister, or her designated “person” Christina or even Mer’s Father.  Dramatic implications in that struggle are obvious.  It could end with a life or death scenario, with Derrick demanding one thing and the others demanding another.

The medical scenario works the same even if Derrick is in a life or death crisis.  His next of kin would be Mom, influenced by his sisters.  They’d have already had the tug of war – was there or wasn’t there a wedding?  No priest or reverend, no license, no marriage Der’s family would conclude.   In Der’s case, he could be lingering in some unconscious state for which his family blamed Mer.  They might forbid her from even seeing him, calling for some in the staff to break the rules to get her into his room. 

With either scenario,  but especially with Derrick lying ill and near death, I can imagine a court battle between either Mer/Der and the family/friends over the wedding that wasn’t. 

Shonda Sunshine says the post it wedding will cause big reverberations next season.  Now if that doesn’t get your writer’s imagination churning, I recommend a long vacation somewhere tropical with moonlight walks on the surf that end in some grown up games with waves lapping at your legs.  And other body parts. 

How would you write the rest of the story?  Game on, Grey’s fans!!