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Angry Old Fat Man here, boys and girls.

America landed on the moon on my third birthday. That's right, I was born exactly three years before mankind took their first steps on a different celestial body, our moon.

Unbelievably, there are fools out there who not only don't believe we did this, but also believe we faked the footage live and they advertise this misinformation to influence the young and the extremely gullible:

Thank God we have people who are not only knowledgeable, but have a sense of humor.

There are numerous Internet memes that have an "expanding brain" sequence, which shows a brain and/or spirit expanding from a Homer Simpson sized nugget up to a galactic sized ethereal enlightened soul.

I found one the other day that addressed the moon landing:

Enjoy! The Eagle has landed!

Hi there, children, it's me the Obese Guy with Anger Issues. It's been awhile, I know, what took me so long to update blah blah blah make me a sandwich and get me a Capri Sun and shut the hell up.

My darling wife the Crazy Duck and Little Yappy Dog Lady and I have finally done it. We've raised our two boys into full-fledged men. I've got to say it was a team effort and I'm extremely proud of the job we've done.

...continue reading "Empty Nest, Somewhat (May 2019)"

Angry Old Fat Man here. My mobile phone is dead.

Actually, it was dropped a couple of times in the past year or two and doesn't display or sense screen input anymore. It was a very nice Samsung smartphone, very expensive when I paid for it. It had an outstanding camera which took beautiful pictures even in low light. It had 32 GB of RAM which allowed me to load a large number of apps if I so desired (a grocery list one and a couple games were great). It allowed me to get on the Internet from practically anywhere and look up important stuff, like the date when Abe Vigoda died (you have to be pretty old to get that joke). And most importantly it had an alarm clock that got me up every morning without an annoying buzzing noise.

But yeah. Phone dead. No texting, talking, or alarming.

Being an old fart like myself, though, has made me hate anything and everything "smart". I like the good old days, when everything was dumb.

...continue reading "Dumb is Better"

Angry dude here, the lucky husband of the Crazy Duck Lady.

Today's my birthday. I'll be fiftajjdisoijd this year.

I was born on my Dad's birthday. So I never really had big birthday parties or anything like that, especially considering the economic status my immediate family had when I was growing up.

But this is the first year that I've had my birthday that my Dad was not around to at least say "happy birthday" to me, and that I couldn't do the same to him. He died a number of months ago.

My Mom misses him so much, but she did wish me a happy birthday today. My wife and my boys will be here with me as I praise the good Lord for another year of life, and for all of them, I could never express enough gratitude.

Happy birthday, Dad. I love you, and will until I see you again.