Quacking Alone

This post may be a bit brief (for me) because we’re editing the first part of Duke of Eden, the serialized novel I’m going to publish exclusively on Kindle for the amazingly low price of 99 cents per installment.  I’ve still got to write the product description but, Yes Virginia – the man tittie cover will hit Kindle next week.  Be sure to check out the book then!

The serialized publication/value price of Eden  actually relates to this post.  As I was working on edits yesterday, I clicked over to Google News – my home page for Internet Explorer.  I’ve customized my version to show certain types of stories, and yesterday up popped a Bloomberg Businessweek story of all things.  Naturally, I got distracted from my work and had to read the piece right away.  The romance genre meriting a piece on a prominant business site was worthy of notice, and its worthy of mention here.

The piece was titled:  Romance Fiction:  Getting Dirty In Dutch Country. It focused on how romance fiction is – even in this Friday the 13th of economies – on the rise.  The story mentioned the writer’s opinion that  the many and varied categories of romance, including Amish, knitting and paranormal specifically, helped keep romance climbing towards the top.  I don’t really disagree with the piece, I just don’t think the writer attributed the rise to all the right factors. 

  According to the article, publishers say that book sales declined by 1.9 percent in 2009 after a 3 percent drop the previous year and books appear to be “suffering a slow and rather boring death.”  The article doesn’t talk about ebooks, which have been undergoing dramatic growth. 

The piece notes that despite declining sales in books overall, one genre has been experiencing “steady and unusual growth.”  Yeah, that’s right, ROMANCE.  The Romance genre increased to $1.4 billion, up by $100 million, or 7.7% from the prior year.  In a down market and a down economy people are buying more romances than ever.  Well, duh.  When have we ever, ever needed to believe in happy endings more than today?

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I recently read an article by a psychology researcher who thought she could explain why women read Harlequin romance novels. Such articles often intrigue me and this one, in particular, drew me in because the author and I share the same name (Mary Anne) – albeit, she doesn’t spell hers the way my namesake Granny told me I had to spell mine.  Dr. Fisher concluded that women read romance because they’re looking for a cad who becomes the dad.

Most of the articles trying to “explain” women’s love of the romance genre make me want to throw something at my computer screen.   The other Mary Anne’s piece didn’t make me mad so much as it made me pity the author.  First of all, as a researcher, she should have known she couldn’t base an understanding of a vast and complex genre like romance on one atypical type of book of the genre.  It makes all her conclusions laughably wrong. For example, based on her study of Harlequins, Fisher decides that romance novels are too short and characters are therefore too underdeveloped.  Certain types of Harlequins are intended to be short fast reads that get the reader in and out fast.  But not all Harlequins are short – some of the publisher’s imprints are long, slow, luscious reads.  So Dr. Fisher bases her conclusions one type of one imprint from one publishing house.  I hope she does a better job with the psychological research she gets paid for.

Fisher concludes that romance novels are “candy for women’s brains.”   She concludes that they allow the reader to live vicariously through the heroine and fall in love with the hero but without any of the consequences.  Of course, she also thinks that the plots revolve around the woman trying to decide if the hero is “Mr. Right.” So, at least Fisher is consistently wrong.

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Many famous novels have appeared in serial form but, perhaps the most famous serial wasn’t a novel at all.  In 1914 the motion picture serial, The Perils of Pauline, was shown in installments.  The title character is the archetype for “damsels in distress” as each episode featured her getting embroiled in various life-threatening situations – like being tied to the railroad tracks.  The heroine, of course, was inevitably rescued or escaped certain death – only to get herself into trouble again next time. 

Pauline aside, a host of acclaimed books have been serialized. One of the first was One Thousand And One Nights which introduced famous characters like Sinbad the Sailor and Aladdin.  One of the most famous serial authors was Charles Dickens who published each chapter as a serialized piece.  That’s why most of his work is so long - more chapters equal more money.  Dickens’ left off each piece with a cliffhanger.  Famously, for his chase story The Old Curiosity Shop,  American fans waiting at the docks to meet the ships bringing in the next installment shouted at the ships’ crew demanding to be told whether Little Nell was dead.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle created his Sherlock Holmes  tales as serial pieces for a magazine.  Thomas Hardy created many pieces via serialization, including Tess Of The D’Urbervilles.  More recent writers have also returned to the format.  Stephen King has dabbled in the genre.  King began offering “The Plant” in serial form on his website, charging $1.00 for each of the 6 chapters that he’d written.  However, in late 2000 he abruptly halted the project, leaving readers without an ending.  Tom Wolfe’s Bonfire of the Vanities was serialized by Rolling Stone magazine, and Douglas Clegg got a 5 figure advance for serialization of his novel, Nightmare House. (more…)

Writers have lots of ideas.  We have great, immense, goobledegobs of ideas. Most of them are destined to be born and die within the disturbed realms of our fertile little brains.  Most, but not all.  A few of those notions do grow up to be books. 

I germinate ideas or script scenarios in my head all the time.  My imagination is where I go to escape when the job is too sad or demanding or when reality bites too hard.  But it’s not only stress or sadness that sends me to Mary Anne World.  Sometimes a great TV show will send me there.  I’ve written alternate scripts for many a Grey’s Anatomy episode, and I’ve made up whole romances that only lived in my head (Cristina and Webber, anyone? And I always thought Izzie belonged with Dr. Burke)  Like I said, my head is a strange place. 

Of course, it’s not just Grey’s that gives birth to ideas.  I’ve gotten romance ideas for Dr. House and Cuddy or Gordon Ramsey and a Hell’s Kitchen contestant.  So far, none of those has grown up to be a book, but in the future, you never know.  Griffin’s Law came to be after I imagined Grey’s in a law school. 

But its not just TV that brings ideas.  Sometimes they grow from reading an interesting legend on the Internet (the MacLeods of Skye and their famed faerie flag became my – so far – three part Forever Series).  The idea for E-mail Enticement came during a CLE seminar.  The first book I ever wrote , Brotherly Love, came from the most unique place.  Usually the characters create the story but with my first book, the message created the story.  I got to thinking about how big and broad love is and I wondered why we create boxes and rules to try to limit and define what we should only celebrate.  The characters in Brotherly are more “real” than in most romance novels, because they were intended to be more like us – flaws and all – and the story was written to make the reader think instead of just experience.

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Everyone I know is flawed. All of the people I love and adore have blemishes. Each of my co-workers, from the boss on down, has defects. And me? If there were a country called Flawed, I’d be its Queen.

I’m working on a new book. Actually, I’m juggling two – a historical and a contemporary. I was working on the historical yesterday when it struck me that the hero was pretty damned tarnished.  My mind flipped over to the contemporary and realized that yep, sho ’nuff, the hero has potholes in his character big enough to drive an 18-wheeler through.  

My personal creative process starts with the characters and builds from there.  From the characters flows the story.  When its going well, one of them will often lead me down a path I never intended to travel, he or she will change the direction of the whole bloomin’ book in a way that’s gonna cause me no end of re-writes.  Those characters, the ones whose tale I’m telling?  They’re never the good guys in the white hats from stable backgrounds earnestly seeking only a permanent committed relationship. 

Invariably, my hero will be the spoiled rascal who’s always lived life on his terms, by his rules.  And those rules, like everything else in his world, tend to favor allowances rather than limits.  His background may have been more or less stable, but it’ll have enough instability, enough challenges, that it’s made him tough, wily, and smart.  My heroes are always smart.  But he won’t be looking to right the world’s wrongs.  Heck, he won’t even be looking to right his own. 

My hero will never walk into the story as the guy avoiding the tawdry, temporary pleasure of sex without strings.  He surely won’t be seeking a committed relationship.  My hero will embrace the tawdry and wallow in the sex whilst avoiding good girls like they were one of those diseases he might pick up in his favorite brothel. 

Yes, you guessed it.  My heroes have always been varmits. 

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(Upset Hubby Alert – I can’t remember where I read it!)

Read somewhere (hence the hubby alert above) that some of the editors at the big publishing houses are now looking for contemporary romances.  Actually, I think I read in a couple of different places over the last week or two, news that contemporaries may be the next hot thing.  What do I say to that?

THANK GOD, THE GREAT GREEN TOAD FROG AND ALL THE RE-FRIED CLAMS IN THE UNIVERSE!!!

I like historicals and I write historicals, but there are times, many times, when only a contemporary will do.  Some of my favs from that genre are folks like Diana Palmer, Linda Howard, Susan Elizabeth Phillips and Jayne Anne Krentz.  I can curl up in a chair and watch hours pass like minutes while I read one of theirs in paperback form,  or – as I add more to my Sony Reader – in ebook form.  I’m eyeballing a purchase of a Diana Palmer and a Brenda Jackson Westmoreland anthology for my e-reader as we speak. 

I also love contemporaries.  I also WRITE contemporaries.  I previously published Email Enticement, a contemporary set in my home town of Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.  I just published Griffin’s Law, a contemporary set at the University of South Carolina’s Law School in Columbia, SC.  Both books take place at that interesting mental spot where love and the law intersect. So, does my gratitude about the return of the contemporary contain some amount of self-interest?  You bet’cha.

But, keep in mind, that I write contemporaries because I read contemporaries.  I write contemporaries because I love contemporaries.  I don’t agree that you have to write what you know.   I do agree that you have to write what you love.   Enthusiasm and joy and a page turning experience will never happen for a reader if they didn’t first happen for the writer.  Fun is contagious. 

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The book that, to date, I had the most fun writing, Griffin’s Law, is being published as I type. It’s out there on Smashwords and almost out there (it should be through the publishing grinder shortly ) at Kindle. It’ll take a couple of weeks or so for us to get the paperback version out.

The Amazon process for Kindle puts the book out in stages. As I write this post, Griffin’s Law is up on the Amazon site, complete with hubby’s fantabulous cover image and, by the Great Green Toad Frog, with a buy button. The cover blurb hasn’t fed up yet. And this blog post is partly about Griffin’s and why it was my most fun book to write, and partly about that cover blurb.

Anyone who reads this blog knows that I’m a huge fan of Grey’s Anatomy and of its creator, Shonda Sunshine (Rhimes). And Grey’s Anatomy inspired this book. One night, as I watched the folks at Seattle Grace Hospital, I asked myself one question – What if Grey’s Anatomy took place in a law school? 

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Hello again chiljens, it’s me the angry old fat dude. Just popping in to tell you Mary Anne has been very busy not working on one book, but two books. Her muse is working overtime, swinging her back and forth between two time periods. Hell, I have trouble keeping up with what year it is in real life, much less numerous crazy fantasy worlds.

Anyways, Mr. Brick has not been seen recently, so we suspect Muse is working like a maniac to avoid him. She is alive and well, though, unlike many others who’ve had run-ins with His Brickness.

In the meantime, I present Mr. Brick’s premiere video, The Bricks-For-Me Challenge, which was his answer to the infamous Blasphemy Challenge. Enjoy, and until later, kiddies, AOFM out.

Men like to watch random people having sex. 

They’ll pull up pictures of the act, watch one internet video after another showing a different set of people doing similar things.  A whole genre of movies exists to cater to the male desire to watch generously endowed females wiggle, squirm, slither and squeal in high-pitched tones as the man gives it to her good.  A few scenes later, the same man – we’ll call him Dick - gives it to three different women (at the same time) and they enjoy it every bit as much as the first piece he left behind. 

Women like to read about how Dick discovers Jane – the woman who makes everything in the bedroom so different that he’ll change the way he lives after the orgasm’s over. 

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My muse is either very fickle or very smart.  Or, perhaps, I’m either exceptionally stubborn or exceptionally stupid.  More likely, it’s all of the above.

I had a plan.  I blogged about my plan last time.  I was working on a new historical romance.  Once it was done or (at least) well underway, about the beginning of next year, I was going to stop and do an edit of Griffin’s Law.  The next to be published Griffin’s is complete and has been resting pending an edit.  Griffin’s is a contemporary romance set in a law school and is sort of a crossover between E-mail Enticement and a historical.  Okay – if you insist- think of Griffin’s  as the Grey’s Anatomy of the legal profession.

Anyway, I’ve been hard at work writing my new historical.  Rather, I’ve been trying to be hard at work on the historical.  I’ve been coming home after work and opening the computer to the MS every night.  I’ve been opening it faithfully every Saturday and Sunday morning for the past few weekends.  Sometimes, I’ve even written a few lines on it.  But inevitably, after a line or two, the story leaves me and I start sneaking over to my desktop to play Snood or Solitaire.  Or flipping over to check sales on Amazon, Createspace, Scribd, Smashwords, etc.  Or getting sucked into something on Google News that I keep in customized form as my homepage for Internet Explorer.

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