Editorial Note – Ignore all the rumors. Mr. Duck did NOT suggest the title for this episode.

From the title of the episode — we knew Mer’s news would not be good.  Oh, Mer, having a gene doesn’t mean you get the disease.  We all walk around with bunches of genes for things we never get.  Forget about it and live now!  Will she do that?  No – she’s Meredith Grey.  She’s dark and twisty.

She wants an updated will.  Now.

Woah – I just found a commercial deep.  (Inspiration dances with the daring.)  What does that say about the state of my mental health, people?  Seriously,  nothing good.

The Syrian docs have to treat patients in the dark and without instruments?  That’s almost as sad as their insisting on Callie being on the team because they lose so many children.

Speaking of children, Owen’s surrogate son is back.  And I just read that he and Cristina will be re-visiting the whole baby issue.  I’m guessing that Shonda Sunshine is misleading us again.  Yep – I’m thinking they’ll adopt an older kid.

Back to the will – yes.  Cristina was one of the guardians and Derek says she needs out because she doesn’t want kids.  Meredith says Cristina will still agree to raise their kids.  Hmm, so that’s how the issue will arise.  Crafty Sunshine having Cristina’s person bring up the issue of issue.

And surrogate kid’s grandmother won’t arrive until tomorrow to pick him up.  Yep, it’ll be a perfect Shonda Storm.  Mer asking Cristina to be the baby’s guardian and Owen bringing home surrogate son.  Part 1 – Cristina says she’ll take the kids but she’ll raise them by a team of surrogates.  And Mer looks depressed.  Is it Der’s sisters for the kids.  And Cristina wants to get the kids 3 weeks a year – she’ll take them for their first tattoo……..  Mer says they need a Mom and Cristina points out that Mer’s still here – she’s not dying.

But Cristina should know better.  She knows dark and twisty Mer better than anyone.

Dear Duck – now Mer and Cristina are giving April love advice.  She should know better than to take love advice from those two.  Even the Syrian doc wants to give April advice.  She just looks like she needs help.

Mer and Der discuss how many disasters they’ve survived.  And Mer tells Der he should give her a lethal dose of morphine as soon as she forgets where her keys are.  By that token, I wouldn’t have survived until Zack learned to walk.  And now he graduates in May from UCF with a Mechanical Engineering degree – cum laude, and with honors in the major. Yeah, Mer should rethink that whole exit strategy. If I hadn’t been around longer than losing those keys – Sam, my youngest, wouldn’t exist and the world without Sam-ness would be a dark and hideous place.  Sam’s the male version of Mary Tyler Moore (Remember that song?  Sam turns the world on with his smile.  It lights up a room.  And he really does take nothing days and make them seem worthwhile.) And my engineer, Zack,  would have had no one to hell hack his teachers and school officials until thy gave in and admitted that one size does not fit all.  Where would he be today, my special, brilliant young man?)

And all of babies are getting post-op complications.  Is intern Leah to blame?

Has Meredith learned anything?  NO – she gets a back up promise that Cristina will kill her when she forgets where her keys are.  And you know what?  Cristina really would do that.

April’s gonna tell the paramedic — Yes, she just did.  She tells him she was a virgin for a long time but screwed up and didn’t wait. Will he understand?  No, he won’t.  She sees her lack of virginity as a wee little issue compared to the war that the Syrian’s are facing.  He doesn’t see it that way.  He says the issue is her lying.  It could be, but I suspect that it might be just that – the paramedic doesn’t want a playground where anyone else played -ever.  That’s the kind of thing a hero might say and believe in a historical romance novel — from the Regency period — but only until the heroine taught him better.

Der wants the intern with the natural talent and he rejects the one willing to work his butt off.  Sigh.  Hard work is way underrated.  And Owen fights to admit Ethan overnight because he doesn’t want to go with foster services.  Callie says no.   But – she changes her mind.  Except the kid hears Owen say he’s sick and Owen has to explain to the kid that he’s fake sick.  And Cristina sees Owen cuddled up and relating to his surrogate son and she sees why Owen’s been so irritable lately.

Mer tells Der that Cristina agreed to kill her and he shows her his gene scan.  Positive for a high tendency to 2 kinds of cancer, heroin addiction and male pattern baldness.   He tells her it’s all a crap shoot.  A less twisty lady might agree.

And April is robbing the hospital – giving away expensive medical equipment.  Girl frog – none of that will change the mind of an arse. And yes, Mer, the truth doesn’t always set us free.

One of the complications patients died.  But Leah didn’t treat her.  Only Bailey treated all three of them.  And Jackson has to call the lawyers.  And Owen and Derek have to tell Bailey to sit down and let Webber treat her patients.  They were going to fire the intern — so are we supposed to believe that Bailey is leaving the show?  Bailey?

You know – I did see a blip from Shonda that someone was leaving the show.  But I think that’s just misdirection.  Grey’s without Bailey?  It wouldn’t be the same.

And your homework this week is to imagine Cristina’s child-rearing philosophy.  Nightmares may be involved.

FIND A SONG LIST FROM THE EPI, HERE.

 

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