Married?  In a committed relationship that you’d like to keep committed?  Forget hairspray – bring on the oxytocin.

Oxytocin is a hormone made in the brain’s hypothalamus.  It triggers childbirth, helps with breastfeeding and – apparently – promotes togetherness and fidelity.    A new study involved a group of 86 heterosexual men with an average age of 25.  Researchers dosed the guys with either oxytocin or a placebo to study the effects.  And what were they?

Men in committed relationships who got the morning spritz of oxytocin kept a greater physical distance when approaching or being approached by a woman they considered attractive. It had no effect on the single fellows nor did the oxytocin effect the distance men kept between themselves and other men.

“Because oxytocin is known to increase trust in people, we expected men under the influence of the hormone to allow the female experimenter to come even closer, but the direct opposite happened,” study leader Rene Hurlemann, of the University of Bonn, in Germany, said in a journal news release.

The findings suggest that oxytocin may help men remain faithful to their female partners.

I’ve always had particular fears about Mr. Duck and red-headed women.  Why red-heads?  Does jealousy need a reason?  I’d be equally unhappy with him hooking up with a blonde, a brunette or a woman with purple and green locks.

This only means one thing…………  I may have to do something drastic like, alter a morning ritual at the Duck Pond.  In the morning Mr. Duck and our littlest duckling (he’s a high school kid but will always be my baby) venture back to the bedroom where I’m making myself look semi-human.  They kiss me goodbye before heading out into the wide world. Sometimes, they arrive as I have hairspray in hand.

I’m thinking I could fix up a label for the oxytocin that says something like “Forever – Hold Hairspray” and accidentally keep it in my hand whilst giving Mr. Duck his morning smooch.  Now, if I can only figure out a way to spray it up his nose without him noticing.

I suppose I could deploy a curvy red-head.  That might keep Mr. Duck from noticing anything, including a nuclear explosion.  But it seems  counterproductive somehow, doesn’t it?

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